[kinjutsu]

The situation is as follows...

A good male friend(70% red/30% blue pill) of mine has a cute but not hot girlfriend. Recently she moved out of her parents house to stay with her childhood friend and another girl in a rented house. The girlfriend was living in a small town 15 minutes outside the city. She has the small town girl vibe to her which is why my friend likes her.

The house has 4 total bedrooms(2 upstairs and 2 downstairs) and 2 full bathrooms(one upstairs and one downstairs). The other 2 girls share the upstairs and his gf is currently alone in the basement. He called me last night in a panic about the situation. They had some interested people for the remaining room but only 1 guy showed up. The guy works construction...They will have a formal interview with the guy on Wednesday.
The childhood friend's boyfriend is 100% opposed to the idea of the 4th roommate being a guy.


His nightmare scenarios are as follows:

Since they will be sharing a bathroom there would be plenty of times for her to see him naked or vice versa...

They end up drinking together since their rooms share a common wall. One thing leads to another...

One night he has some guy friends over and they start drinking and things get out of hand because she is the closet female to them...

Or she just finds him straight up more attractive and fucks him on the side behind her bf's back...

I told him not to really get too bothered about it because it will come across very needy and that will shoot him in the foot in the long run.

How do you discourage the idea of having a male roommate in a house full of young in their sexual prime women?

I've told him to float the idea of their house not being a safe haven anymore. They dont know him at all, anyone can fake being likeable for a few hours or even days. However once a month or two passes then you really see who they are. What if he does things to make them uncomfortable? (ie walking in on them coming out of the shower or entering their room while they are changing clothes) How much harder will it be to get him to move out. As well as if anything happens who is still going to wanna live there because they definitely wont feel safe in their own home.

I'm open to more suggestions to help him deal with this.

PS. I know some people will think he should just drop her if they get a guy. However lets try to prevent the problem in the first place instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water.

[Parlay44]

If he was banging 4 different girls this wouldn't be an issue.

[kinjutsu]

Haha true enough. He's not the type though, believe i've tried to get him to...hes not beta just monogamous.

[presidentcarter]

(01-15-2013 04:16 PM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

Haha true enough. He's not the type though, believe i've tried to get him to...hes not beta just monogamous.

Then he's setting himself up for this kind of heartbreak. But what do I know, I don't even know the girl...I just have trust issues

[Parlay44]

[OGNorCal707]

(01-15-2013 03:56 PM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

Or she just finds him straight up more attractive and fucks him on the side behind her bf's back...

I told him not to really get too bothered about it because it will come across very needy and that will shoot him in the foot in the long run.

This. Hopefully for your buddy's sake this guy isn't going to be 6 ft. 5 in., ripped, and handsome. If there is attraction + proximity + alcohol it could spell disaster for your friend.

That said, there isn't really much he can do, if he shows any anxiety or neediness about this, it will just make him look weak in her eyes, and will end up being a turn off for her.

While it's probably not worth getting too worked up about, this could prove to be a shitty situation for a guy with a GF. Now if the guy is an ugly, socially awkward loser, then you friend should have nothing to worry about.

A lot of also depends on the girl, with some chicks I only "trust them as far as I can see them", unfortunately it seems like that applies to the majority of women these days. Still you find those down to earth, honest, genuine, non slutty types, but if she's a nympho, party girl, who loves to drink and thrives on attention and the male roommate is a suave good looking dude, all bets are off.

[Hotwheels]

If he's monogamous why doesn't he shack up with his girl?

[Ovid]

If she's a decent girl she will put her own foot down and veto some random man moving into the bedroom adjoining hers. If she does not do so, she's probably already cheating on your friend, and he should start seeing other girls immediately if he is not already. She would only consent to this arrangement if she's a bad girlfriend, who gives no thought to how her actions or lack thereof will please her man, or to her reputation -or cares so much about her sex-in-the-city image with her friends that she won't dare seem 'old fashioned' by voicing her opposition to a man moving in.

[OGNorCal707]

(01-15-2013 04:37 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

If he's monogamous why doesn't he shack up with his girl?

+1 Problem solved. It might be a case where he's got to "step up" or "step out", at least in regards to the intimacy level of the relationship (e.g. moving in together). That is kind of a gamble though, a move like that would imply that you already have severe trust issues with your girl, or a lack of confidence in your relationship, or ability to keep her on lock.

[UgSlayer]

If he's that worried, tell him to tell his girl that it's a no go. He's the man and he can't even tell his girl a straight up no? Or even go to the chicks she's living with that he has a problem with it? Tell him to sack the fuck up, but all those things he is worried about can still happen even if a guy doesn't move in. Girls have guy friends that come over too. House parties. She's going to get hit on more and more.

If it was me and the guy ends up moving in, I would go over, fuck her loud as fuck while telling her to scream dirty shit. I would do that a couple of times during the week. Then I'd drop her. It's less about the fact that the guy moved in and more an issue of disrespect. A woman should always obey her man.

[UgSlayer]

Or maybe if he is like you describe, he needs something like this to happen to him so he wakes the fuck up.

[OGNorCal707]

(01-15-2013 04:38 PM)Ovid Wrote:  

If she's a decent girl she will put her own foot down and veto some random man moving into the bedroom adjoining hers. If she does not do so, she's probably already cheating on your friend, and he should start seeing other girls immediately if he is not already. She would only consent to this arrangement if she's a bad girlfriend, who gives no thought to how her actions or lack thereof will please her man, or to her reputation -or cares so much about her sex-in-the-city image with her friends that she won't dare seem 'old fashioned' by voicing her opposition to a man moving in.

I wouldn't jump so far ahead to those kinds of conclusions, I mean we're only getting one small piece of the puzzle here. Maybe these girls are just that desperate to get another roommate, because otherwise they won't be able to pay their rent, and this one guy is their only prospect.

Plus, it's not that uncommon for guys and girls to live together, especially if they're in college or in their early twenties, I see it happen all the time. However, I have heard plenty of stories of roommates hooking up, but keep in mind there will be two other single girls in that house. One of the main issues is the proximity between this guy's GF and the new roommate dude.

[kinjutsu]

@OGNorCal707
The guy is a genuine dude. Solid friend for over 15 years. Has had my back in so many shitty situations i owe it to him to help as much as i can, but knowing how women are...
I think he's gonna try to meet him or at least be around for the interview...to get a feel for how the guy carries himself.
She's not really a party girl per se, doesn't really drink that much and isn't much of an attention whore.
With him working construction i doubt he's a skinny and weak, but my friend isn't built in anyway. 6'1 165lbs.
In any event he's probably an average guy.

@Hotwheels
He still lives at home and is going to school for medicine (undergrad) so he can't work as much as he would need to support himself financially. Plus he's only been with her for 7 months. I told him to wait at least 1 year before he talks to her about living together. That's 1 year without any major issues.

[kinjutsu]

@OGNorCal707
The "mother hen" of the house has a main boyfriend and he is 100% against a guy living there. The situation isn't that they need to fill the room to make the rent go down, it's more like the landlord is giving them a choice on who lives with them. The other girl is single but...she is bi sexual and 17 so that can lead to other issues...
The mother hen isn't likely to bring dudes over since she has a long term boy friend.

@UgSlay
I think your advice would probably work best in this situation. She does adore him in certain aspects. So a strong "No" without argument or discussion is needed.

[UgSlayer]

Why is she moving into the city? Does she go to school? Her job? Is there any concrete reason for it?

[kinjutsu]

Her parents are splitting up...The dad is a verbally abusive drunk and she doesn't want to be around it anymore. They are selling the house.
Plus she works in the city so it would be faster for her to get to work.
Also it's not going to be a "party" house from what he told me the mother hen isn't the type to have parties...that remains to be seen though.

[UgSlayer]

I know you care for the guy, but you are not your brother's keeper. It sounds like you are enabling his unattractive traits and justifying his jealousy. I understand you are trying to stop this guy from getting cheated on or potentially hurt, but the guy has to learn on his own. It sounds like he is green.

If there were no warning signs, he wouldn't have come to you in a panic.

If she wants to cheat or gets that idea in her head, or gets too drunk and kisses dudes, there is virtually nothing you can do about it. It's all on him. You can give him advice, but if he doesn't internalize it, it's only a short term solution.

Watch him fall, but help him dust himself off and get back on his feet.

[PrettyBoy]

Not that it would help, but if I was the guy moving in , it would be game over.
Interview...No interview, if me and another fella aren't cool, his girl is game.

Don't trust these hoes and Don't trust any guy that you don't consider close around any of them.
But your advice to him is useless.
You can't babystep people through situations like these, he has to learn for himself.

[Balkanite]

The way you described this arrangement, I'm shocked as to why there weren't 100 dudes lining up to get this room.

[kinjutsu]

@PrettyBoy
My thoughts exactly. If i were the dude moving in I'd charm the pants off them during the interview and then run long term python game and just wait till she gets into an argument with him. Start drinking then cuddle up and watch a movie together...doesn't take much sometimes. As well as having a rotation of girls coming and going not to mention banging them out loudly as possible so she hears it. It would only be a matter of time till something happens...

[MikeinMKE]

there's a 65% chance the new male roommate won't be attractive. He shouldn't show his fears until he confirms that the dude is handsome with gaming skills. And of that's the case he's probably going to fuck this girl regardless.

[le prince perdu]

If your friend has been fucking his girl the right way,
He has nothing to worry about.

Unless of course she is a super slut.
Generally once a girl has found her alpha male that fucks her right,
She keeps that pussy just for him.

[kinjutsu]

Haha i dont know about their sex life but he is fairly dominant with her in public when I'm around.
From what i've been able to tell she is not a super slut. He's seeing her tonight so I'll pass the information along to him.

[Gunner]

(01-15-2013 06:39 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

there's a 65% chance the new male roommate won't be attractive. He shouldn't show his fears until he confirms that the dude is handsome with gaming skills. And of that's the case he's probably going to fuck this girl regardless.

How did you get that statistic?

[Pappy]

Thing is, if you put a man with a woman someday something's gonna happen.