[durangotang]

The Hell of the West

This is hard hitting stuff. If there is one post I have read that best describes the hell of a well intentioned beta in our current society, this is it:

Confessions of a Reformed InCel

He confesses to twelve years of involuntary celibacy and the psychological toll it took in no uncertain way. In our unnatural, culturally marxist, feminist society, knowledge of game can truly save a mans life.

Read it. Pass it on.

Oh, and he lives in Toronto.

[NYJ]

I don't think I've ever read anything that hit so close to home like that piece did. At several points I actually had to stop reading because memories from high school were vividly coming back to me(minus thoughts of suicide, which I never even came close to considering). I consider myself lucky that I discovered the manosphere at 19 rather than when the author discovered it. I think the future looks bright as more men are waking up from a lifetime of lies and propaganda.

Thank you op for sharing.

[Praetor]

My favorite part:

You haven’t a fucking clue what a dry spell is.

[porscheguy]

I'm afraid his math doesn't add up. He got laid at 17. At 29 he was married to a woman he hated. I know plenty of people are in celibate marriages, but I assume he had to fuck her a few times at the beginning. So how did he endure a 12 year dry spell? Even better, I find it hard to believe that he seems to have gone from a sexless marriage to successfully playing stripper game. I'm not saying he didn't go on a long dry spell, but I think 12 years is stretching it.

He also uses a lot of gamer (of the video variety) terms.

[Beyond Borders]

(12-21-2012 01:05 AM)porscheguy Wrote:  

I'm afraid his math doesn't add up. He got laid at 17. At 29 he was married to a woman he hated. I know plenty of people are in celibate marriages, but I assume he had to fuck her a few times at the beginning. So how did he endure a 12 year dry spell? Even better, I find it hard to believe that he seems to have gone from a sexless marriage to successfully playing stripper game. I'm not saying he didn't go on a long dry spell, but I think 12 years is stretching it.

He also uses a lot of gamer (of the video variety) terms.

Good point. While I found it a good read, there were several different parts where the math seemed off to me as well, though I didn't take te time to stop and double check. While on face value that takes little away from the emotion of the story, it made it come across a bit more melodramatic when I sensed he was over-exaggerating some things.

[TheMachinist]

That about sums up my life. Until you've gone YEARS without sex or even physical contact you just don't have any room to complain about a dry spell.And he's right misogynist are made not born...I can barely stand to look at the women in my life that fed me all the lies and bullshit about women wanting "nice guys".

[Spike]

A too good to be true story. In the wrong way. He lost me at the point where he went from biggest loser of all times to a guy suddenly picking up strippers just because he lost it at one time and went to a stripclub where he seduced a battle hardened stripper with some nice guy talk and (LOL) sexual touching he has seen in Euro-porn movies. Overnight transformations like this are just not very likely to happen.

He says he has friends who are major players but he himself is an sexless omega. In all these years the only advice he got from them was "just be an asshole" So at no point in many years did he sit down with those guys and had a semi serious talk about what was wrong with him. Not one conversation about it in years. Either he's bullshitting about having such "friends" or he is overall bullshitting.

I had a rough time also being a shy introverted unsocial guy before I swallowed the blue pill at 31 years old but at least I had banged about a dozen of girls and had relationships (long and very short) in between. I knew my mistake was within me and not the feminists/white knight/disney fairytale/nice guy world. I knew I had to get worldly and popular and get out of the house to meet people.
This story is just too good/bad to be true and has too many plotholes. It will probably follow up with some sort of (PUA) product in a while.

I used to work with a guy who never had a girlfriend at 30. The guy was a major beta, not intelligent, short and a truly ugly guy with a creepy look on his face. Even that guy just went to hookers every once and a while.

[TheMan]

...wow

[Vacancier Permanent]

Just finished reading that epic piece. While I could relate to parts of it, I also got lost when he went from being a guy with no play to being in a club for the 30th birthday of his ex wife...He never mentions of her then all of a sudden, he's married? Did I miss something in here or what? Other than that, his overall message is worthy to be shared to the younger generations to avoid them being slaughtered by the feminazi system.

[Fitzgerald]

Thanks for reposting this, durangotang, it's an intense read. I've read the piece several times and though my dry spell wasn't as long as his, this piece really hit close to the chest for me as well. A big point to it is that sex is really nothing to chicks, and in many ways, it's everything to us dudes (very depedestalizing), among others. Many brilliant comments on the blog's page as well.

Disclaimer: tl,dr - the math does add up, his wording is just a little clumsy at points.

To address the math discrepancies y'all are seeing, lemme clear it up: the author is 37 at the time of the posting. His high school girlfriend and his ex-wife are the same person. He lost his virginity to her when they were both 17ish, and they broke up afterwards ('cuz he was too beta). He then spent the next 12 years in-cel, being a nice guy and obviously not getting laid. He then attends the 30th birthday party of the woman who will soon be his wife (they're not yet "together" at this point) and then ex-wife, which is where he leaves and commences banging strippers (I know, sounds fishy, but the author seems quite intelligent, and he essentially decided to do the exact opposite of everything he'd done before, so I'll buy it). He marries the girl he banged in high school (she was obviously looking to hop off the carousel), because he's banging strippers and it gets her steamy, and he, being the beta at heart, starts the ever familiar slide into betatude, and *bingo, bango, bongo*, they get divorced (which I believe happened this past year). But, he was more savvy this time, and started working on his game just a couple months after. Hope this helps y'all, I had to read through a few times myself to piece it all together.

Check out his other posts, he's a pretty funny guy, and thanks to the original author, M3.

[XII]

The stripper seduction part doesn't seem entirely truthful. It's possible that he paid her for it and simply omitted that part---but even if he did, that doesn't detract anything from the narrative arc.

[Magic Bullets]

It is more likely that he ended a dryspell using an escort. He would have to have been very skilled or lucky to land a stripper, going from zeroe game to that all of a sudden. I like what he is doing and the way he is reaching out to other guys, I can relate and I know other guys who can as well.

[Blaster]

My dry spell was a lot longer than this guys but for some reason I never developed the rage and cynicism that seems so common for guys in similar situations. Sure I feel some contempt when I see some chick whining about not having had a cock in 2 weeks but not rage.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Quote:

I had a rough time also being a shy introverted unsocial guy before I swallowed the blue pill at 31 years old but at least I had banged about a dozen of girls and had relationships (long and very short) in between.

If you had such great results, why did you feel as if you were having a rough time? 12 or so girls is already quite above the average. If that's what being shy, introverted and unsocial brings you, there should be no rationale for game at all. Were you unusually tall, muscled, rich, popular or something?

I was involuntarily celibate until age 22, and by that I mean not just that I was a virgin, but that I could literally not score a single date. No kiss either, ever. The furthest I got during those seven years (if we assume that real sexual urges start at about 15) was a few numbers. And even that was a result of a frantic struggle to achieve anything, but when all the advice you an get is "just be yourself" and "girls like gentlemen/gifts/flowers", it's obvious how it's gonna turn out.

In these 3-4 years afterwards, following constant effort, my game, options and bangs have skyrocketed, and now I'm finally happy. But make no mistake, the 7-year dry spell was HELL. I don't think most people really understand how unimaginably cruel the sexual market can be. It's no wonder that I get enraged at this kind of people - particularly clueless women, white knights or naturals - who think that someone would actually choose to undergo so much pain, that he deserves it, or that it's easy to fix.

[beta_plus]

While I agree M3's math for his timeline is off and the stripper part seemed weird, I get the feeling that it's just because M3 writes in a very raw style that puts emotion ahead of complete accuracy. As far as his emotions are concerned, they correspond exactly to mine.

[ImmoralPsychology]

That article hurts to read. I can identify with those feelings very well. I had a period of incel in my life (though nowhere near that long) that was very difficult and felt a lot of those things myself. It's angering that everything that is told to you by the people you trust (yes, that includes media) is just so wrong.

And then one day it occurred to me -- I'm a fucking hypocrite and so is pretty much everyone else who goes through this.

I have in the past lamented, "why are the hottest chicks such bitches and care only about how good a guy looks, how much money he makes, etc...??? Shallow cunts. Fucking shallow cunts. If they just got to know me, they'd be in love with me. I'm really quite an interesting and funny guy. Girls who do know me well very often fall for me but they're not very hot. Some are fat, some ugly, some OK, some a little cute but none of them are beautiful. All I want is a beautiful girl to not be such a shallow cunt."

I've thought along these line myself and I've heard it said more than enough times. Movies are built around this premise. The unpopular guy who is in love with the cheerleader while his average-looking geeky female friend idly pines for him secretly. For years, the irony and hypocrisy didn't occur to me.

And then I got it. I'm no better than the hot bitches who passed me over for Mr. Hot Stud, or Mr. Jerk, or whoever.

So the guy that wrote that article, if he is sincere - not just trying to set up a PUA sell - I can't help but wonder how many fat, ugly chicks he hit on and got rejected by in all that time that he was "just looking for someone to love". He wants to pour acid over the faces of the bitches that ignored him while they went on to have ONS's with a more studly dude but how many girls would have loved for him to pay them a little attention and he didn't cuz they weren't hot enough for him? So much for altruism.

We are all the same this way. Every person in the world is hypergamous to the extent that they will trade up if they feel the benefit outweighs the costs. That isn't to say that every single guy will dump a 6 in looks for the 7 in looks because there's more to it than that. But when you take all the other stuff that goes along with it, the security of a stable relationship vs the risk of a new one, the trouble to having a high-maintenance girl vs a low-maintenance one -- when you take everything into consideration, everybody will trade up if a better deal is to be had.

Once you realize this - and that for as much a "nice guy" you consider yourself to be, you're really not as nice as you thought - you start to be more objective about it and fully understand why it's important to work out, look better, dress better, etc. You might not be born with the best genes or be the tallest guy or have a big bank account, but there are plenty of things you can do to bring yourself up from the 30th percentile to the 70th or 80th percentile of women's choices.

So does this guy, or any of us that have felt that way at one time or another, have the right to feel sorry for himself? Nope. Not unless you're open to dating that 200-lb chick and overlook her weight because she's just so damn cool and is so nice with a good heart. LOL

[Magic Bullets]

Assuming he has rejected a number of unnattractive women is beside the point. He has gone to great effort to improve himself, he has developed a descent body either during incel or not, he is a quality bloke. What manosphere is addressing is this imbalance which has resulted in the game we have today. It also addresses the pedalising of women who have got there at the expense of a man. This article will cause a lot of men to open up, it gives a lot of men a voice. Anyone know how he can be contacted.

[Spike]

(12-23-2012 11:00 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Quote:

I had a rough time also being a shy introverted unsocial guy before I swallowed the blue pill at 31 years old but at least I had banged about a dozen of girls and had relationships (long and very short) in between.

If you had such great results, why did you feel as if you were having a rough time? 12 or so girls is already quite above the average. If that's what being shy, introverted and unsocial brings you, there should be no rationale for game at all. Were you unusually tall, muscled, rich, popular or something?

I was involuntarily celibate until age 22, and by that I mean not just that I was a virgin, but that I could literally not score a single date. No kiss either, ever. The furthest I got during those seven years (if we assume that real sexual urges start at about 15) was a few numbers. And even that was a result of a frantic struggle to achieve anything, but when all the advice you an get is "just be yourself" and "girls like gentlemen/gifts/flowers", it's obvious how it's gonna turn out.

In these 3-4 years afterwards, following constant effort, my game, options and bangs have skyrocketed, and now I'm finally happy. But make no mistake, the 7-year dry spell was HELL. I don't think most people really understand how unimaginably cruel the sexual market can be. It's no wonder that I get enraged at this kind of people - particularly clueless women, white knights or naturals - who think that someone would actually choose to undergo so much pain, that he deserves it, or that it's easy to fix.

I have never claimed to be a sexless omega. I went traveling because I was sick and tired of my own life. Of course I had some occasional sex in mind when I went traveling but so does any other beta dude who goes backpacking abroad.

If you have a half drunken One Night Stand and nothing for a year after, then I don't call that great results. I had a few of those periods. I'm 6.2 so not unusually tall for Dutch standards where unusually tall is anything above 6.5. Not rich,muscled or popular either, on the contrary.
I lost my virginity at 13 with an English girl on a holiday but the next lay took me 4 years (3 times with same girl) and the ones after that 2 years. Since I was 19 I did pretty well according to beta/omega standards but I was never really happy with GF's I had ( I once lived together with a girl for 2 years). In between GF or SNLs I would be a unsocial guy sitting behind a computer all the time or watching movies. When going out I was a insecure guy with approach anxiety most of the time. I recounted and I had 15 notches by the time I left.
My "friends" were never really supportive either and used to make jokes about my dry spells.

They now have bitchy old gf's or wives.

Guess who is rubbing it in extra hard and often now?

[T and A Man]

His timeline isn't off.

He got laid at 17 IIRC, to the chick who would eventually be his wife.

He went without for 12 years after that, taking him to 29, when he attended the 30th birthday of the same chick who was still yet to be his wife.

At that birthday party, he nailed a stripper, then did a whole bunch of strippers, which met the pre-selection criteria of the girl he laid 12 years prior, who he later married.

Not knowing enough red-pill knowledge, the marriage turned sour pretty quickly.

[xsplat]

(12-23-2012 02:09 PM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  

Once you realize this - and that for as much a "nice guy" you consider yourself to be, you're really not as nice as you thought - you start to be more objective about it and fully understand why it's important to work out, look better, dress better, etc. You might not be born with the best genes or be the tallest guy or have a big bank account, but there are plenty of things you can do to bring yourself up from the 30th percentile to the 70th or 80th percentile of women's choices.

So does this guy, or any of us that have felt that way at one time or another, have the right to feel sorry for himself? Nope. Not unless you're open to dating that 200-lb chick and overlook her weight because she's just so damn cool and is so nice with a good heart. LOL

I agree with your point, but only now with the luxury of some hindsight. Is it really possible for guys stuck within the matrix to even know what women find attractive?

Although I had my first girlfriend at age three and had a romantic girlfriend nearly every year since then, I've had some long dry spells myself. And it wasn't for lack of effort - I worked out, remained social, put myself out there and tried to play the game as I understood it. And how was I to understand any better?

I think the message of the incel post is that society (meaning women) conspires to keep men in the dark about what game it is that we are trying to play; about what is attractive to women.

And it's getting even more dark lately - women conspire to create the beta class of men, and are getting openly snide towards them. It's not just that they are hypergamous, they openly sneer at a class of undesireables that they willfully create. It's as if their group sexual strategy relied on betas to be hungry for pussy, in order to garner attention and favors and provisioning. Which it does. Biology and evolution and the resulting socio-biology are all sick motherfucking cock suckers.

During the horrible, horrible times lean of sex or female attention, how was I to learn? There is no feedback for betas that can positively re-enforce attractive behavior. The positive enforcement comes when you change your circumstances such that you are deemed more attractive, and only then can you naturally begin to take on new traits. Or nowadays we can learn a bit from our peers to kickstart the process.

One of my many entrepreneurial venture hit it big while I was still in the west, and that was my first introduction to success. Suddenly I was dating three girls at once. That taught me a mindset of assuming attraction, and was an introduction to a new approach. I know some people downplay money, but for me at that time having it made a night and day difference to my dating life - and everything in my experience and all my analytical ability says that it was absolutely NOT all down to confidence. The money was my local fame, my peackocking, my way of standing out. It opened doors faster than anything I'd ever experienced. Throwing around a few hundred bucks on a date because it made no difference to me; the days income was in excess of 1000, that kind of thing made girls tell me what "a great personality" I'd suddenly acquired.

Women willfully create the beta class of men, and willfully keep them in the dark about there even being another class, and work hard to deny class mobility. By willful I don't mean consciously - I mean willfully; they make a co-ordinated concerted effort to do so, and strongly oppose any countermeasures.

[bodmon]

i read the post and it hits hard. as a mid 20s virgin (lost it at 26 - i'm probably the latest bloomer here) there's much in it that i relate to about the feelings of worthlessness and despair, about not feeling fully "human".

like neil skywalker said though there's a lot about it that's suspect. first is the guy's jump from a decade plus of incelness and "omega"-ness to banging strippers on the reg. this defies belief. it is as extreme a jump as you can get.

second is the guy's social history and circumstances. to be clear, this guy was not an omega, but an uber-beta. this does not match my experience. i was incel because i was a true omega - i never had a beta stage. i was a socially undeveloped loner. i never tried with women because i didn't even know any. this guy on the other hand tells a story of a social life with an endless stream of Badboy Alpha Asshole™ male friends and Feminist Saboteur female friends, with the former banging out the latter while the guy looks on woefully. the guy somehow remains completely uninfluenced by his asshole friends and gets nary a fuck from his feminist friends for over a decade. correct me if i'm wrong but this too is unbelievable. it seems like some kind of contrived red pill fantasy scenario. it's red pill porn.

[reaper23]

best revelation in the manosphere in 2012:

" Every person in the world is hypergamous"

thats men too, clearly. accepting that, truly accepting that, should/could change perspectives on a lot of things

[Spike]

(12-24-2012 12:21 PM)bodmon Wrote:  

i read the post and it hits hard. as a mid 20s virgin (lost it at 26 - i'm probably the latest bloomer here) there's much in it that i relate to about the feelings of worthlessness and despair, about not feeling fully "human".

like neil skywalker said though there's a lot about it that's suspect. first is the guy's jump from a decade plus of incelness and "omega"-ness to banging strippers on the reg. this defies belief. it is as extreme a jump as you can get.

second is the guy's social history and circumstances. to be clear, this guy was not an omega, but an uber-beta. this does not match my experience. i was incel because i was a true omega - i never had a beta stage. i was a socially undeveloped loner. i never tried with women because i didn't even know any. this guy on the other hand tells a story of a social life with an endless stream of Badboy Alpha Asshole™ male friends and Feminist Saboteur female friends, with the former banging out the latter while the guy looks on woefully. the guy somehow remains completely uninfluenced by his asshole friends and gets nary a fuck from his feminist friends for over a decade. correct me if i'm wrong but this too is unbelievable. it seems like some kind of contrived red pill fantasy scenario. it's red pill porn.

Like I said, it's too good/bad to be true.

[el mechanico]

Regardless I'm not buying "involuntary celibacy" I was involuntary "mini-bikeless" until 5th grade and made it happen. Please.

[Magic Bullets]

He leaves a few unanswered questions. I went from 18-25 and slept with 13 women. From 25 onwards I would describe myself as kind of incel, I did go the same time or more on a dry spell. I ended it with a hooker. Only difference for me was I had acute anxiety and a few times had it almost on a platter, I did some beefcake waitering as well. I have experienced some success, seldom put myself in vicinity of meeting women. I am in really good shape and do dress well. What I am seeing is that evenly matched males and females are no longer hooking up, I am seeing too many guys on the sidelines.