I finally got a ONS the Friday before Halloween.
I would like to thank Roosh for writing Bang, Day Bang, creating the forum, and the forum members who give their advice freely. All of you have created a collective road map that is absolutely uncanny. At no time did I feel "lost" or not knowing what to do thanks to you.
While things went well, I understood at the time that they might not but I had to play things a certain way and hope that matters beyond my control would work. I love Roosh's analogy that Game is not chess, it's poker. Thanks to him and all the rest of you guys I got a decent hand, played it correctly, and everything else went well. I also know that it won't usually be that way. 90% of the time things won't
work out. The point is to stick to the correct form for the 10% when everything does.
Hopefully, this story will help people like me who are still working at it.
As I go along, I'm going to stop to talk about what I did correctly thanks to Roosh and the Forum.
Full Disclosure: I've changed names, dates, places, and certain details for the sake of anonymity. I don't think that it will detract from my points.
So I went to a bar having a costume party near my place dressed as Men In Black around 8PM.
Right Thing To Do (RTTD) #1) LOGISTICS
I made sure to go to a place near where I live. The forum's emphasis on making sure your place is close by is dead on. None of the rest of what I did would have mattered if it had not been for this.
RTTD #2) SUIT UP
Suiting up in a non-professional suit really makes you stand out, especially in a place like DC. My suit was purchased for $350 with adjusting from Men's Warehouse is a just a 2 button jet black suit. I personally don't like an expensive suit because otherwise I worry about someone spilling red wine or throwing up on it. Black is the best color to use starting out because it's much harder to tell if the suit is cheaply made or not, even when it is well lit. In addition, dressing up as Men In Black allowed me to wear sunglasses so that I had the fun of wearing a mask for Halloween while still showing most of my face. When I achieve advanced game and coin, then I will start dressing like G Manifesto. I feel that if I am worried about how much my suit costs, it will show and hurt my game.
RTTD #3) PICK A GOOD VENUE AND GO EARLY
I know that I am going to get some flack for this, but I am a strong believer that in bad places like DC you have to get there early. I knew that there would be a costume party and I made sure to get there early so I would not have to stand in line forever and could talk to people before they really closed off (they are always somewhat closed off in DC).
I went by myself. As usual, everyone was doing the "DC Circle" where they would only talk with their friends, even the guys. I went to the bar and saw a guy by himself there in a cool Native American costume. He was waiting for friends so we started talking and then decided to walk around and check out the other costumes - there were actually many very good ones. We got a good vibe going even before his friends arrived.
RTTD #4) TALK TO SOMEONE - ANYONE
You need to get a social vibe going. If you work in computers like I do, that's just not possible at work. When you go out, get a seat at a bar and start talking to the people next to you. If you can sit next to
a cute girl, great. If you can't, JUST TALK. Use all of Roosh's opening skills like the Old Person Opener.
RTTD #5) WORK YOURSELF INTO A SOCIAL GROUP
The guy had friends who showed up and were a blast. They had dressed fun and we ended up having a great time. I looked cooler simply by being with them, but I made sure to contribute to the fun as well.
ONS showed up very late and knew The Guy's group. She was impressed with me instantly. Her face lit up immediately when we first looked at each other
RTTD #6) LIFT WEIGHTS BASED AROUND SQUATS AND SHORT REST INTERVALS
Now, lots of guys argue here about what the exact benefits of lifting weights are for attracting women. Everyone has got their own opinion
but I have the mic now so I get to say mine (line stolen from Luckystar).
It's not how big it makes you. It's not how cut it makes you. It's not your pecs or your biceps.
IT'S YOUR POSTURE.
You know how your supposed to have confident alpha body language by
having your shoulders up, your chest out, your back straight, your gut
flexed, in contrepost stance? Imagine not having to think about that
but doing it by default. THAT'S what lifting weights does for you. I used SixPackShortCuts - the Youtube guys. I wish that I could recommend them but I've had problems with cancelling. You don't have to use them,
but you must use someone that emphasizes squats, dead lifts, and the lifts that you always see in the highlights from the Olympics (not sure what they are called). As well, you need to make your rest intervals short. I started at 90 seconds and now usually only rest 30 seconds. Don't worry about the weight as long as it challenges you. It's NEVER worth risking injury.
But back to ONS, that's why I'm sure caught her eye immediately. Thanks to lifting, I naturally stand like in a confident pose. Even better, a confident pose in a suit (See #2) who was being cool with friends of her friends (see #5).
RTTD #7) ONE IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH
Was I more attracted to other girls at the party? Yes. Was I more attracted to other girls in the extended social group? Yes. But ONS was the cute girl who was interested in me and I could tell immediately. Always pick that girl.
Last call was about to happen, so we get in the The Guy's groups car and leave to go to one of the Guy's friends place to drink. There is not enough room in the car. I immediately jump in the back and tell ONS to sit on my lap after she offers to sit on someones lap.
RTTD #8) TAKE THE LEAD
When you see an opportunity, grab it. Sometimes you just have to take a risk.
Things immediately get hot between ONS and me. She grabs my hand by the door so other people can't see, and sits herself so that her ass is rubbing against my crotch and intentionally rubs against it.
Unfortunately, another guy in the car is really drunk and frustrated about the night. He yells that we should go to a bar. This instantly kills the mood and we drive back to the bar for people to grab their cars.
RTTD #9) KEEP YOUR COOL
I didn't let other guy rattle me. I kept my cool and quietly suggested to the others that we head back.
When we get back to the bar, I get out with ONS because "hey, I live right near by and it's crazy for you to drive around. It's nice weather anyway." Again, Logistics and taking the lead.
After the car drives off, I "help" ONS find her car and start making out with her once we're on a side street.
RTTD #10) MAINTAIN HER PRIVACY
A girl whose into you wants to get physical, but not where she can be seen. Be patient and direct her somewhere out of the way.
ONS offered me a ride back to my place. When we got to my place, I made sure to have her drop me off where I am fairly sure there will be a parking space. I invited her to my place to make her a drink. She says yes but "I can only stay an hour". I say "Good, because I have to go to bed soon."
RTTD #11) HAVE AN EXCUSE TO INVITE HER TO YOUR PLACE
Have some sort of prop to invite her in. For me, I used "let me make you a drink". Now, I can get away with this because I've studied mixology and am damn good at making mixed drinks now. Most bartenders in DC can't mix as well as I can (1/2 of them are muffin-top "hot" chicks who are getting masters in "education policy", so it's not as much of
a brag as you might think).
RTTD #12) FALSE TIME CONSTRAINT
Plenty of sources describe this better than I can.
Things escalate quickly as soon as we are in my apartment. However, there is some minor last minute resistance. I make sure as soon as I feel her body "jerk" (I don't know how else to describe it) I stop, let go, and start talking to her.
RTTD #13) PHYSICALLY ESCALATE CORRECTLY
Other people have described this better than me, but once you have her somewhere private, you need to slowly ratchet up the physicality. However, she's going to almost certainly be reluctant, so as soon as you "feel her jerk" you need to stop, wait a few minutes, and then start over from the very beginning.
Probably after 40 minutes, she's naked on my couch. She asks me to take off my shirt. At this point, I don't think that this will cause me to enter her frame and supplicate so I comply. She likes what she sees a lot.
RTTD #14) INTERMEDIATE FASTING
I would not know about intermediate fasting without the forum. Special thanks to Kosko for making such a convincing pitch for it. Personally, I think that he's the most underrated member of the Forum.
I take lift her up (see RTTD Lifting) and take her to my bed. I grab a condom from my dresser next to bed.
RTTD #15) ALWAYS HAVE CONDOMS HANDY
Make sure you keep them accessible at all times.
We have sex.
Hopefully, this is a good guide for people still trying to do this and gives them the faith that it is possible. But remember
1) You must always be prepared - The Price of One Night Stands is Eternal Vigilance.
2) You will fail most of the time. Don't feel bad about failing. Feel bad about not playing your cards correctly.
What I still do not know how to do:
Deal with Shit Tests:
One of the things that I sometimes thinks gets confused in Game discussions is the difference between flirting and shit tests.
She has to challenge you for flirting to work. You have to
stand up to the challlenge to flirt back. When it's done rights, it's one of life's great pleasures. When it spirals out of control into shit tests
is when she acts like a bitch forcing you to act like an asshole.
While ONS gave verbal challenges to me, they were "nice" challenges.
She was simply flirting, and I know how to banter so it was fun.
There was never any nastiness in what she was saying - it was just playful teasing. Sadly, that's often not the case. I still am at a loss at what to do to bang a girl who is acting like a bitch. It's something that I would like to do because, frankly, often the hottest girls in the places where I am most frequently (DC & Toronto) act like bitches.
How to navigate a mixed group in a quieter soberer setting:
I got lucky in this case that the ONS made a point of seeking me out and it was late enough that no one cared. I have had trouble before and since figuring out how to deal with girls who were interested in me but in mixed social groups earlier in the night.
What about the quality of the girl?
I left this for last because I did not want it to distract from my points above, but for full disclosure:
ONS had a very pretty face, but a bit overweight.
Personality wise she was actually quite friendly and nice, which you really can't count on DC. I wish Mentu still had his site so that I could link
his description of the RooshDC Meetup.
I would like to thank Roosh for writing Bang, Day Bang, creating the forum, and the forum members who give their advice freely. All of you have created a collective road map that is absolutely uncanny. At no time did I feel "lost" or not knowing what to do thanks to you.
While things went well, I understood at the time that they might not but I had to play things a certain way and hope that matters beyond my control would work. I love Roosh's analogy that Game is not chess, it's poker. Thanks to him and all the rest of you guys I got a decent hand, played it correctly, and everything else went well. I also know that it won't usually be that way. 90% of the time things won't
work out. The point is to stick to the correct form for the 10% when everything does.
Hopefully, this story will help people like me who are still working at it.
As I go along, I'm going to stop to talk about what I did correctly thanks to Roosh and the Forum.
Full Disclosure: I've changed names, dates, places, and certain details for the sake of anonymity. I don't think that it will detract from my points.
So I went to a bar having a costume party near my place dressed as Men In Black around 8PM.
Right Thing To Do (RTTD) #1) LOGISTICS
I made sure to go to a place near where I live. The forum's emphasis on making sure your place is close by is dead on. None of the rest of what I did would have mattered if it had not been for this.
RTTD #2) SUIT UP
Suiting up in a non-professional suit really makes you stand out, especially in a place like DC. My suit was purchased for $350 with adjusting from Men's Warehouse is a just a 2 button jet black suit. I personally don't like an expensive suit because otherwise I worry about someone spilling red wine or throwing up on it. Black is the best color to use starting out because it's much harder to tell if the suit is cheaply made or not, even when it is well lit. In addition, dressing up as Men In Black allowed me to wear sunglasses so that I had the fun of wearing a mask for Halloween while still showing most of my face. When I achieve advanced game and coin, then I will start dressing like G Manifesto. I feel that if I am worried about how much my suit costs, it will show and hurt my game.
RTTD #3) PICK A GOOD VENUE AND GO EARLY
I know that I am going to get some flack for this, but I am a strong believer that in bad places like DC you have to get there early. I knew that there would be a costume party and I made sure to get there early so I would not have to stand in line forever and could talk to people before they really closed off (they are always somewhat closed off in DC).
I went by myself. As usual, everyone was doing the "DC Circle" where they would only talk with their friends, even the guys. I went to the bar and saw a guy by himself there in a cool Native American costume. He was waiting for friends so we started talking and then decided to walk around and check out the other costumes - there were actually many very good ones. We got a good vibe going even before his friends arrived.
RTTD #4) TALK TO SOMEONE - ANYONE
You need to get a social vibe going. If you work in computers like I do, that's just not possible at work. When you go out, get a seat at a bar and start talking to the people next to you. If you can sit next to
a cute girl, great. If you can't, JUST TALK. Use all of Roosh's opening skills like the Old Person Opener.
RTTD #5) WORK YOURSELF INTO A SOCIAL GROUP
The guy had friends who showed up and were a blast. They had dressed fun and we ended up having a great time. I looked cooler simply by being with them, but I made sure to contribute to the fun as well.
ONS showed up very late and knew The Guy's group. She was impressed with me instantly. Her face lit up immediately when we first looked at each other
RTTD #6) LIFT WEIGHTS BASED AROUND SQUATS AND SHORT REST INTERVALS
Now, lots of guys argue here about what the exact benefits of lifting weights are for attracting women. Everyone has got their own opinion
but I have the mic now so I get to say mine (line stolen from Luckystar).
It's not how big it makes you. It's not how cut it makes you. It's not your pecs or your biceps.
IT'S YOUR POSTURE.
You know how your supposed to have confident alpha body language by
having your shoulders up, your chest out, your back straight, your gut
flexed, in contrepost stance? Imagine not having to think about that
but doing it by default. THAT'S what lifting weights does for you. I used SixPackShortCuts - the Youtube guys. I wish that I could recommend them but I've had problems with cancelling. You don't have to use them,
but you must use someone that emphasizes squats, dead lifts, and the lifts that you always see in the highlights from the Olympics (not sure what they are called). As well, you need to make your rest intervals short. I started at 90 seconds and now usually only rest 30 seconds. Don't worry about the weight as long as it challenges you. It's NEVER worth risking injury.
But back to ONS, that's why I'm sure caught her eye immediately. Thanks to lifting, I naturally stand like in a confident pose. Even better, a confident pose in a suit (See #2) who was being cool with friends of her friends (see #5).
RTTD #7) ONE IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH
Was I more attracted to other girls at the party? Yes. Was I more attracted to other girls in the extended social group? Yes. But ONS was the cute girl who was interested in me and I could tell immediately. Always pick that girl.
Last call was about to happen, so we get in the The Guy's groups car and leave to go to one of the Guy's friends place to drink. There is not enough room in the car. I immediately jump in the back and tell ONS to sit on my lap after she offers to sit on someones lap.
RTTD #8) TAKE THE LEAD
When you see an opportunity, grab it. Sometimes you just have to take a risk.
Things immediately get hot between ONS and me. She grabs my hand by the door so other people can't see, and sits herself so that her ass is rubbing against my crotch and intentionally rubs against it.
Unfortunately, another guy in the car is really drunk and frustrated about the night. He yells that we should go to a bar. This instantly kills the mood and we drive back to the bar for people to grab their cars.
RTTD #9) KEEP YOUR COOL
I didn't let other guy rattle me. I kept my cool and quietly suggested to the others that we head back.
When we get back to the bar, I get out with ONS because "hey, I live right near by and it's crazy for you to drive around. It's nice weather anyway." Again, Logistics and taking the lead.
After the car drives off, I "help" ONS find her car and start making out with her once we're on a side street.
RTTD #10) MAINTAIN HER PRIVACY
A girl whose into you wants to get physical, but not where she can be seen. Be patient and direct her somewhere out of the way.
ONS offered me a ride back to my place. When we got to my place, I made sure to have her drop me off where I am fairly sure there will be a parking space. I invited her to my place to make her a drink. She says yes but "I can only stay an hour". I say "Good, because I have to go to bed soon."
RTTD #11) HAVE AN EXCUSE TO INVITE HER TO YOUR PLACE
Have some sort of prop to invite her in. For me, I used "let me make you a drink". Now, I can get away with this because I've studied mixology and am damn good at making mixed drinks now. Most bartenders in DC can't mix as well as I can (1/2 of them are muffin-top "hot" chicks who are getting masters in "education policy", so it's not as much of
a brag as you might think).
RTTD #12) FALSE TIME CONSTRAINT
Plenty of sources describe this better than I can.
Things escalate quickly as soon as we are in my apartment. However, there is some minor last minute resistance. I make sure as soon as I feel her body "jerk" (I don't know how else to describe it) I stop, let go, and start talking to her.
RTTD #13) PHYSICALLY ESCALATE CORRECTLY
Other people have described this better than me, but once you have her somewhere private, you need to slowly ratchet up the physicality. However, she's going to almost certainly be reluctant, so as soon as you "feel her jerk" you need to stop, wait a few minutes, and then start over from the very beginning.
Probably after 40 minutes, she's naked on my couch. She asks me to take off my shirt. At this point, I don't think that this will cause me to enter her frame and supplicate so I comply. She likes what she sees a lot.
RTTD #14) INTERMEDIATE FASTING
I would not know about intermediate fasting without the forum. Special thanks to Kosko for making such a convincing pitch for it. Personally, I think that he's the most underrated member of the Forum.
I take lift her up (see RTTD Lifting) and take her to my bed. I grab a condom from my dresser next to bed.
RTTD #15) ALWAYS HAVE CONDOMS HANDY
Make sure you keep them accessible at all times.
We have sex.
Hopefully, this is a good guide for people still trying to do this and gives them the faith that it is possible. But remember
1) You must always be prepared - The Price of One Night Stands is Eternal Vigilance.
2) You will fail most of the time. Don't feel bad about failing. Feel bad about not playing your cards correctly.
What I still do not know how to do:
Deal with Shit Tests:
One of the things that I sometimes thinks gets confused in Game discussions is the difference between flirting and shit tests.
She has to challenge you for flirting to work. You have to
stand up to the challlenge to flirt back. When it's done rights, it's one of life's great pleasures. When it spirals out of control into shit tests
is when she acts like a bitch forcing you to act like an asshole.
While ONS gave verbal challenges to me, they were "nice" challenges.
She was simply flirting, and I know how to banter so it was fun.
There was never any nastiness in what she was saying - it was just playful teasing. Sadly, that's often not the case. I still am at a loss at what to do to bang a girl who is acting like a bitch. It's something that I would like to do because, frankly, often the hottest girls in the places where I am most frequently (DC & Toronto) act like bitches.
How to navigate a mixed group in a quieter soberer setting:
I got lucky in this case that the ONS made a point of seeking me out and it was late enough that no one cared. I have had trouble before and since figuring out how to deal with girls who were interested in me but in mixed social groups earlier in the night.
What about the quality of the girl?
I left this for last because I did not want it to distract from my points above, but for full disclosure:
ONS had a very pretty face, but a bit overweight.
Personality wise she was actually quite friendly and nice, which you really can't count on DC. I wish Mentu still had his site so that I could link
his description of the RooshDC Meetup.