[KorbenDallas]

First of all, let me say, I would never hit a woman with a fist unless she was trying to kill me or something. But, I've started this thread because Roissy recently wrote a blog post and said something along the line of women LIKE to be hit... I don't know about that, but my limited experience in this tells me that he may be onto something.
Once when I was with my ex and she was being crabby and irritable toward me, I got angry and threw her across my lap and spanked her. She got REALLY mad after that and yelled at me for a couple seconds and then I hugged her and said I was sorry and then we had a great day together. She behaved a lot better after that. I don't know if it was the spanking or the hugging afterward or what, but there there might be something to the fact that women crave your dominance. Not in a hurtful way, but a playful spank if she's being crabby might be appropriate.

[Sargon of Akkad]

I would never hit a woman unless she hit me first.

[Thomas the Rhymer]

Beaten women tend to be very loyal from what I've seen. Even when they're afraid their partner is going to kill them, they still go back, saying "I'm afraid... But I love him!" I've also noticed that when these women finally leave their husbands, they don't want anything out of them - they don't ask for alimony or even for child support.

I've come to understand from this and in my personal experience that in any longterm relationship, some tactical use of violence is called for from time to time, as the shit-testing gets worse and worse. I'm not saying you should uppercut your woman, but some problems are best solved with an ear flick, or a firm spanking rather than trying to talk to the hamster.

[Sargon of Akkad]

(10-17-2012 04:55 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

Beaten women tend to be very loyal from what I've seen. Even when they're afraid their partner is going to kill them, they still go back, saying "I'm afraid... But I love him!" I've also noticed that when these women finally leave their husbands, they don't want anything out of them - they don't ask for alimony or even for child support.

I've come to understand from this and in my personal experience that in any longterm relationship, some tactical use of violence is called for from time to time, as the shit-testing gets worse and worse. I'm not saying you should uppercut your woman, but some problems are best solved with an ear flick, or a firm spanking rather than trying to talk to the hamster.

It's called battered wife syndrom or stockholm syndrom.

Personally, I have no respect for people who hit their wives, girlfriends, friends, or relatives (unless, of course, it's in response to violent behavior by them).

If my woman became such a bitch that I felt I couldn't solve an argument with words, I would dump her.

[Tex Pro]

On this topic, I will defer to the great Sean Connery:

[xsplat]

(10-17-2012 05:19 AM)Sargon of Akkad Wrote:  

If my woman became such a bitch that I felt I couldn't solve an argument with words, I would dump her.

That's what it boils down to.

You have two choices: limit your pool of women, or learn how to handle a larger pool of women and deal with it.

But for guys who refuse to hit because they don't want to, waaahhh, then you'll never know the advantages.

Women love a man more who can and does use appropriate violence.

It's not good. It's not right. It just is.

And yes, even your woman is like that. They all are.

"But I don't want to be that kind of man!", I hear people say. Self righteously.

There is no righteousness in being lazy or stubborn or in avoiding drama.

"But I don't wanna halve to!"

I don't know how to reply to those sentiments. Sometimes you have to. Or let the woman go. And you can let go a lot of otherwise excellent women, if you don't wanna halve to.

I'm slowly starting to realize why LTRs aren't popular in the manosphere.

Because men don't wanna halve to.

Then they blame the women for being unmanageable and not worth it!

If you can't even slap your girl because of some internal resistance, then you don't deserve her anyway. That's what she thinks, whether she knows it or not.

I have personal experience with this with several girls. They will tell me the exact moment they fell in love with me. Take a guess what that moment was.

Or I'll notice a sudden and dramatic change in behavior towards the better, with the girl finally giving her full heart. Take a guess after what action.

And I've heard the same from other men.

This is a constant that applies to more than just "those kinds of girls". I'm convinced that it's universal.

"But, but, but, I don't want to date a girl like that! That's sick!"

Then date a man.

[j r]

(10-17-2012 05:49 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(10-17-2012 05:19 AM)Sargon of Akkad Wrote:  

If my woman became such a bitch that I felt I couldn't solve an argument with words, I would dump her.

That's what it boils down to.

You have two choices: limit your pool of women, or learn how to handle a larger pool of women and deal with it.

But for guys who refuse to hit because they don't want to, waaahhh, then you'll never know the advantages.

Women love a man more who can and does use appropriate violence.

It's not good. It's not right. It just is.

And yes, even your woman is like that. They all are.

"But I don't want to be that kind of man!", I hear people say. Self righteously.

There is no righteousness in being lazy or stubborn or in avoiding drama.

"But I don't wanna halve to!"

I don't know how to reply to those sentiments. Sometimes you have to. Or let the woman go. And you can let go a lot of otherwise excellent women, if you don't wanna halve to.

I'm slowly starting to realize why LTRs aren't popular in the manosphere.

Because men don't wanna halve to.

Then they blame the women for being unmanageable and not worth it!

If you can't even slap your girl because of some internal resistance, then you don't deserve her anyway. That's what she thinks, whether she knows it or not.

I have personal experience with this with several girls. They will tell me the exact moment they fell in love with me. Take a guess what that moment was.

Or I'll notice a sudden and dramatic change in behavior towards the better, with the girl finally giving her full heart. Take a guess after what action.

And I've heard the same from other men.

This is a constant that applies to more than just "those kinds of girls". I'm convinced that it's universal.

"But, but, but, I don't want to date a girl like that! That's sick!"

Then date a man.

When was the last time you hit an American woman? And how old was she?

[xsplat]

(10-17-2012 06:36 AM)j r Wrote:  

When was the last time you hit an American woman? And how old was she?

I can't prove that there exists a single cross cultural innate trait. I've lived in the west, but that was over 12 years ago, and so now people tell me that it's all different now.

So you can invalidate all my experience if you want.

But I have strong reasons to believe that these are cross-cultural innate traits common to all female humans.

The legal and cultural issues are another issue. Whether your culture and law supports it or not, women respond positively to appropriate violence.

And you don't have to look far within your own western culture for examples of this.

[Sourcecode]

being of superior strength..i just grab a chick , turn her around and bear hug her from behind.

she isn't going anywhere no matter how much she struggles..
since I'm dealing with mostly petite chicks, you could also grab her wrist. bind both her wrist with one hand.

let them know you are obviously stronger without doing harm.

then you get into that rape fantasy.
i know a bunch of girls that love to get choked out.
one chick i know literally gets off on me just choking her. not sexual ..clothes on.choked from behind.
probably has some daddy issues


bottom line..I've i ever punched a girl..it'd be a knock out blow...unless she's got that iron chin

[xsplat]

I think we'll all have different definitions about "appropriate violence" against a woman would be.

But just contemplating the question could be illuminating.

I know for some men other than self defense where flight is impossible, there is no such thing. Others, like Sean Connery would say an open palmed slap is called for against words. Others might go further.

I suggest that if the level of what you'll do is below the level of what her actions demand, then you have no choice but to leave the girl. A girl who might otherwise have been perfectly tamable, but you'll never know.

And I go further. Most men will never know how just one instance of violence can permanently alter the relationship for the better. I'd also guess most men don't even know what it's like to be loved!

Am I wrong?

[The Fantasist]

(10-17-2012 04:55 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

Beaten women tend to be very loyal from what I've seen. Even when they're afraid their partner is going to kill them, they still go back, saying "I'm afraid... But I love him!" I've also noticed that when these women finally leave their husbands, they don't want anything out of them - they don't ask for alimony or even for child support.

Loyal out of fear of getting a beating if they get caught probably. Also loyal out of being made to feel worthless and not having the courage to leave. Also not wanting money or child support probably because they don't want any kind of contact in any form from a man who abused them. I grew up in an abusive family with a mother who was abused by my father so I see no positives from it at all.

Sorry but if you have to hit a woman to keep her in line then you have no game. I have an eight year old daughter,do I slap her to keep her in line? Nope,she respects me so my word is enough. If you're word is not enough to control your woman then get rid of her,why put up with someone who disrespects you? As soon as a woman gives me shit I tell them straight up that I won't accept behavior like that and that if they pull that shit again I'll kick them out. Does it always work? Nope. So I kick them out,no second chance. Of course I've been hurt by the fact that I've had to do it but I can get a new girl anytime I want,I can go out tonight and get a new girl,so why put up with someone who thinks you're weak enough to take her shit?

[scorpion]

I think it's important to distinguish between "hitting" a woman and beating or battering a woman.

Hitting a woman, most commonly with an open-handed slap ala Sean Connery, can definitely produce the 'gina tingles if used from time to time. It's a direct reminder of your masculine power. It's just enough violence to make a girl snap out of her bitchy frame and reminds her that her role in the relationship is by nature a submissive one. Objectively, 99% of women will say that this is unacceptable, and that you should never hit a woman. Ok. I think we all know by now how much stock to put in what women say about how they want to be treated by men. The reality is that the vast majority of women will respond positively to occasionally being bitch slapped when they are...being bitches. Letting a woman bitch you out is a major TURN OFF for her. With every second that goes by with her laying in to you verbally, you're being emasculated. If this becomes a habit, the relationship will die, because she will no longer be able to respect your masculinity. This does not mean I'm saying you should slap your girl every time you get into an argument, but that you should be prepared to if she starts to get out of control and isn't responding to your efforts to verbally end the argument. If you have to bitch slap your girl more than a handful of times per year, that's a bad sign.

Now, battering a woman is an entirely different matter, and I think is totally unacceptable. These are the guys who like to get drunk and beat the shit out of their wives for no reason except to feel dominant. There's no reason to ever beat a woman, and you shouldn't have to resort to severe and repeated violence to maintain a dominant frame. Doing so is indicative of massively weak game and insecurity.

But occasionally slapping a girl in response to her acting like a bitch? That's in a totally different league, and used in moderation will produce beneficial effects on the relationship.

[xsplat]

(10-17-2012 08:52 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

Loyal out of fear of getting a beating if they get caught probably. Also loyal out of being made to feel worthless and not having the courage to leave. Also not wanting money or child support probably because they don't want any kind of contact in any form from a man who abused them. I grew up in an abusive family with a mother who was abused by my father so I see no positives from it at all.

Sorry but if you have to hit a woman to keep her in line then you have no game. I have an eight year old daughter,do I slap her to keep her in line? Nope,she respects me so my word is enough. If you're word is not enough to control your woman then get rid of her,why put up with someone who disrespects you? As soon as a woman gives me shit I tell them straight up that I won't accept behavior like that and that if they pull that shit again I'll kick them out. Does it always work? Nope. So I kick them out,no second chance. Of course I've been hurt by the fact that I've had to do it but I can get a new girl anytime I want,I can go out tonight and get a new girl,so why put up with someone who thinks you're weak enough to take her shit?

It seems you make no distinction between beating a woman up and an open handed slap. It seems you make no distinction between physically abusing a woman and physically reprimanding her.

I can understand that from your background you'd only see violence as a means of controlling through fear.

There is another angle to look at it from. It may be very uncomfortable to view, especially considering your history, but violence is not only about control and fear.

Many women give their men chance after chance after chance to escalate to some acceptable form of dominance. And for many woman that acceptable form - the only acceptable form - is violence.

Have you never heard the catchphrase "how can I know if he loves me unless he hits me?". Women in your country say it. Women in ALL countries say it.

The reason they say it is not because they want someone to make them too afraid to leave, not because they want to abused. Violence may seem sick and twisted to you, but that's mostly an overlay of judgment onto a dynamic that you are not and don't want to be internally familiar with.

I don't advocate abuse, and I don't advocate running a household through fear.

But maybe that's all you'd be able to hear.

When I look back on all the girls I've been with, the ones who needed and responded well to a little physical behavior adjustment were not the worst. My all time favorite girl needed one - and just one - such adjustment. It was after that exact moment that she fully gave herself to me. That was an internal change in her that had nothing to do with fear. She chose that moment to TRUST me.

You really have to work much harder than you are if you want to understand that.

She chose that moment to give up and fully give me her heart. She became my devoted love slave precisely that day. And we had a deeply intimate and passionate relationship and were inseparable until the day I watched her die. We used to have conversations with our lips touching.

If you can't dis-associate the concept of a slap from domestic abuse, lean into the dynamic and how women respond to it by thinking of S&M. The attitude of S&M is not confined in effectiveness to the bedroom.

[Tex Pro]

(10-17-2012 08:52 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

(10-17-2012 04:55 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

Beaten women tend to be very loyal from what I've seen. Even when they're afraid their partner is going to kill them, they still go back, saying "I'm afraid... But I love him!" I've also noticed that when these women finally leave their husbands, they don't want anything out of them - they don't ask for alimony or even for child support.

Loyal out of fear of getting a beating if they get caught probably. Also loyal out of being made to feel worthless and not having the courage to leave. Also not wanting money or child support probably because they don't want any kind of contact in any form from a man who abused them. I grew up in an abusive family with a mother who was abused by my father so I see no positives from it at all.

Sorry but if you have to hit a woman to keep her in line then you have no game. I have an eight year old daughter,do I slap her to keep her in line? Nope,she respects me so my word is enough. If you're word is not enough to control your woman then get rid of her,why put up with someone who disrespects you? As soon as a woman gives me shit I tell them straight up that I won't accept behavior like that and that if they pull that shit again I'll kick them out. Does it always work? Nope. So I kick them out,no second chance. Of course I've been hurt by the fact that I've had to do it but I can get a new girl anytime I want,I can go out tonight and get a new girl,so why put up with someone who thinks you're weak enough to take her shit?

LOL!

Yeah, i am sure Chris Brown has no game.

See video below:

[The Fantasist]

(10-17-2012 09:16 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(10-17-2012 08:52 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

Loyal out of fear of getting a beating if they get caught probably. Also loyal out of being made to feel worthless and not having the courage to leave. Also not wanting money or child support probably because they don't want any kind of contact in any form from a man who abused them. I grew up in an abusive family with a mother who was abused by my father so I see no positives from it at all.

Sorry but if you have to hit a woman to keep her in line then you have no game. I have an eight year old daughter,do I slap her to keep her in line? Nope,she respects me so my word is enough. If you're word is not enough to control your woman then get rid of her,why put up with someone who disrespects you? As soon as a woman gives me shit I tell them straight up that I won't accept behavior like that and that if they pull that shit again I'll kick them out. Does it always work? Nope. So I kick them out,no second chance. Of course I've been hurt by the fact that I've had to do it but I can get a new girl anytime I want,I can go out tonight and get a new girl,so why put up with someone who thinks you're weak enough to take her shit?

It seems you make no distinction between beating a woman up and an open handed slap. It seems you make no distinction between physically abusing a woman and physically reprimanding her.

I can understand that from your background you'd only see violence as a means of controlling through fear.


There is another angle to look at it from. It may be very uncomfortable to view, especially considering your history, but violence is not only about control and fear.

Many women give their men chance after chance after chance to escalate to some acceptable form of dominance. And for many woman that acceptable form - the only acceptable form - is violence.


Have you never heard the catchphrase "how can I know if he loves me unless he hits me?". Women in your country say it. Women in ALL countries say it.

The reason they say it is not because they want someone to make them too afraid to leave, not because they want to abused. Violence may seem sick and twisted to you, but that's mostly an overlay of judgment onto a dynamic that you are not and don't want to be internally familiar with.


I don't advocate abuse, and I don't advocate running a household through fear.

But maybe that's all you'd be able to hear.

When I look back on all the girls I've been with, the ones who needed and responded well to a little physical behavior adjustment were not the worst. My all time favorite girl needed one - and just one - such adjustment. It was after that
exact moment that she fully gave herself to me. That was an internal change in her that had nothing to do with fear. She chose that moment to TRUST me.

You really have to work much harder than you are if you want to understand that.

She chose that moment to give up and fully give me her heart. She became my devoted love slave precisely that day. And we had a deeply intimate and passionate relationship and were inseparable until the day I watched her die. We used to have conversations with our lips touching.

If you can't dis-associate the concept of a slap from domestic abuse, lean into the dynamic and how women respond to it by thinking of S&M. The attitude of S&M is not confined in effectiveness to the bedroom.

Spell it out,how did you hit your women? Slap,punch? Break it down.

[The Fantasist]

(10-17-2012 09:20 AM)The Texas Prophet Wrote:  

(10-17-2012 08:52 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

(10-17-2012 04:55 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

Beaten women tend to be very loyal from what I've seen. Even when they're afraid their partner is going to kill them, they still go back, saying "I'm afraid... But I love him!" I've also noticed that when these women finally leave their husbands, they don't want anything out of them - they don't ask for alimony or even for child support.

Loyal out of fear of getting a beating if they get caught probably. Also loyal out of being made to feel worthless and not having the courage to leave. Also not wanting money or child support probably because they don't want any kind of contact in any form from a man who abused them. I grew up in an abusive family
with a mother who was abused by my father so I see no positives from it at all.

Sorry but if you have to hit a woman to keep her in line then you have no game. I
have an eight year old daughter,do I slap her to keep her in line? Nope,she respects me so my word is enough. If you're word is not enough to control your woman then get rid of her,why put up with someone who disrespects you? As soon as a woman gives me shit I tell them straight up that I won't accept behavior like that and that if they pull that shit again I'll kick them out. Does it always work?
Nope. So I kick them out,no second chance. Of course I've been hurt by the fact that I've had to do it but I can get a new girl anytime I want,I can go out tonight and get a new girl,so why put up with someone who thinks you're weak enough to take her shit?

LOL!

Yeah, i am sure Chris Brown has no game.

See video below:

Did you call me a tard?

[xsplat]

Spell it out,how did you hit your women? Slap,punch? Break it down.
[/quote]

No, I'm not going to break it down. Each man will have his own definition of what violence is appropriate, and it will vary from circumstance to circumstance and woman to woman. If I talked about what was appropriate in my circumstance that wouldn't mean it would be appropriate for another couple in a different one, and it would only lead to argument about what is appropriate.

But the question of if there is appropriate corrective violence at all can be fruitfully discussed.

I don't think we can have that discussion without looking at the results we want, and the results we can expect to get.

I'm talking about that.

You can talk about if you feel good about it, or if it's right or wrong, and we can't agree on that, but I think we can start by noticing the predictable cause and effect.

From what I see so far you are pretty far off in your concept of the cause and effect.

I can tell you what results I expected and the results I actually got. That might lead you to understand why I have my views.

[The Fantasist]

(10-17-2012 09:44 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(10-17-2012 09:38 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

Spell it out,how did you hit your women? Slap,punch? Break it down.

No, I'm not going to break it down. Each man will have his own definition of what violence is appropriate, and it will vary from circumstance to circumstance and woman to woman. If I talked about what was appropriate in my circumstance that wouldn't mean it would be appropriate for another couple in a different one, and it would only lead to argument about what is appropriate.

But the question of if there is appropriate corrective violence at all can be fruitfully discussed.
[/quote]

Break it down. You say you hit women,I'm just saying drop some examples of how you hit then,otherwise your point without reference is meaningless. Do you punch them in the face full force or light slap. Drop some examples.

I don't ask so I can use your examples in my life,I don't punch women. But you do so let's hear how you do it.

[xsplat]

(10-17-2012 09:47 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

Break it down. You say you hit women,I'm just saying drop some examples of how you hit then,otherwise your point without reference is meaningless. Do you punch them in the face full force or light slap. Drop some examples.

No.

[The Fantasist]

What is your reticence? How do you beat them? It will be interesting to hear first hand.

[xsplat]

(10-17-2012 09:52 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

What is your reticence? How do you beat them? It will be interesting to hear first hand.

Why do you assume that I beat women?

[The Fantasist]

(10-17-2012 09:57 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

(10-17-2012 09:52 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

What is your reticence? How do you beat them? It will be interesting to hear first hand.

Why do you assume that I beat women?

Not assuming:
"When I look back on all the girls I've been with, the ones who needed and responded well to a little physical behavior adjustment were not the worst. My all time favorite girl needed one - and just one - such adjustment. It was after that exact moment that she fully gave herself to me."

Just want you to break down "physical behavior adjustment". Best way to do that is an example of how you manifested that phrase through force. A slap on the ass? A flick of tbe ear? Or a punch? Work with me,break it down.

[Therapsid]

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with hitting a woman on occasion. Society has reached the point where even corporeal punishment for kids is fast becoming beyond the pale. When was the last time a TV show approvingly depicted even the threat of a good whipping by a father to his child?

Being a man means having to sometimes physically discipline your woman and kids. At the same time, being a good brother or father means stepping in if your sister or daughter's boyfriend/husband has crossed the line. Just don't be Sonny from the Godfather and get machine gunned at the toll booth for your trouble.

[Giovonny]

Like other have said...There is a difference between slapping your girl to sober her up from an emotional intoxication (Sean Connery style) and out right beating her up with closed fists, kicks, choke holds, etc.

Like Sean Connery says, there is a time for an occasional loving/corrective slap.

I have done it a few times in my life..

The first time a girl was talking shit to me when I was 18 years old. She said..."I was having fun until YOU got here". I slapped her pretty hard and the look on her face was priceless. She was shocked and she didn't have anything to say. The rest of the night she was quiet and she looked at me with a combination of fear, shock, and respect.

The other girl was a gf friend of mine and I would playfully slap her during sex. I could tell she liked it so I started slapping her lightly when she would do stupid shit around the house or whatever. This would turn her on, and often led to sex. After I started slapping her, she became very submissive to me. It was cool for a while but I have to admit, this girl had some "issues". She grew up poor in Mexico without a father. I was the American "white knight" and she thought I would save her and become her "daddy" (protector). I didn't.

I'm not telling guys to do this, but I know that it is a turn on to some girls, but these girls probably have some deep "daddy issues". It all has do to with the fact that women want powerful, dominant men. Slapping them also shows them that you are a little crazy and unpredictable, which of course, alot of girls like.

[Tuthmosis]

You guys are using the wrong Sean Connery speech.

Sean Connery on managing women: