[Laser]

Not really a game thread, but more of a social grace question. About me - I'm pretty good in social situations, but sometimes I'll put my foot in my mouth in group situations when I respond too honestly to a question forgetting my audience.

This happened in a mixed group of guys and girls (mostly mid twenties, one 35ish year old chick) on the ride home from a road trip. One of the guys is a greater beta, friendly and well liked, but gets no action, friendzoned, and not really trying date.

One of the girls pulled up a facebook picture of a girl she wanted to set him up with. He responded she wasn't his type.

They asked me what I thought about her. I said I needed more info because this chick is 35, so what's her deal?

The older chick responds in an offended tone of voice, "what's that supposed to mean?".

At this point, I couldn't puss out and say nothing, so I said that most of the mid 30's and single chicks I've met have a reason why they are single - divorce, personality flaw that keeps guys from committing to them, or too picky when it comes to men.

The older chick obviously took this response personally and came back with, "well, maybe there aren't any good guys out there".

At this point, I just waved the white flag rather than dropping some serious redpill knowledge and nuking her hamster.

The mood for the rest of the ride home was distinctly uncomfortable, as all the women now hated me.

How would you have handled this situation at the 2 key points - when asked for your opinion on the chick, and when asked to explain your query about the 35 year old chick's background?

[amity]

i think your response is fine except perhaps it would be better to frame your comments in a humourous way, especially as it seems the girl who was asking you knew the chick in the facebook picture
you could segue into some funny story about some older woman you were with, etc maybe even some subtle DHVing, how she was stalking you and you had to change the locks, etc, something like that

so the key is keep it light and fun - 90% of the time, you're better off not getting into heavy/serious type conversations with chicks, some can roll with this for a while, but in general, my rule of thumb is unless you're one on one and have developed comfort with a girl already, keep that conversation light hearted

[storm]

(10-03-2012 04:29 AM)Laser Wrote:  

They asked me what I thought about her. I said I needed more info because this chick is 35, so what's her deal?

The older chick responds in an offended tone of voice, "what's that supposed to mean?".

At this point, I couldn't puss out and say nothing, so I said that most of the mid 30's and single chicks I've met have a reason why they are single - divorce, personality flaw that keeps guys from committing to them, or too picky when it comes to men.

You are answering a woman's question logically.

Quote:

The older chick obviously took this response personally and came back with, "well, maybe there aren't any good guys out there".

At this point, I just waved the white flag rather than dropping some serious redpill knowledge and nuking her hamster.

You dropped your frame, and so they filed you away as a paper alpha:

Quote:

The mood for the rest of the ride home was distinctly uncomfortable, as all the women now hated me.

I would advise against such travel arrangements, since you don't have the power to walk away. If you can't, then dominate the conversation. If you can't, be preoccupied (e.g. bring a book and earplugs). People don't know what to do about earplugs: you can hear them fine if you focus a bit, but can just as easily zone them out.

You can have entire conversations with girls without hearing a single word they're saying. It's amazing how captive our attention can be sometimes.

So let's say you're in the situation you were in before. No books, no escape. You have a few options:

Quote:

They asked me what I thought about her.

1. Cocky/funny
   "I only date girls who can fly"
2. Reframe
   "Where do you know her from?"
3. Derail
   Take the phone from her hands and play angry birds
   

[vinman]

No worries, there's still plenty of pussy to be gotten in that group. A few still had vag tingles when you told the honest truth.

[Giovonny]

(10-03-2012 04:29 AM)Laser Wrote:  

How would you have handled this situation at the 2 key points - when asked for your opinion on the chick, and when asked to explain your query about the 35 year old chick's background?

You never should have mentioned the chicks age and why that could be a problem. If you want to be graceful socially, give people reasons to like you, not reasons to dislike you. By suggesting that the chicks age could be a problem, you gave those girls a reason to dislike you.

It would have been better to just say - "Well, she doesn't really look like my type but tell me more about her, do you guys think we are a good fit?"

That is simple and clean and it doesn't give any one a reason to get mad at you. Socially graceful.

[Nonchalant]

"Define 'good men'."

[polymath]

They don't care about your thoughts on the girl. The mistake you made was not paying attention to whether you were insulting the older chick in your audience while sharing your opinion.

Either rephrase when you get challenged, to express the same idea but in a more palatable way, like "What I mean is, what is her story? Most people have a few serious relationships by their mid-30s, I'd say."

Or play it off with wit, "...Good men? I feel like it's the bad ones that women really want."

Or call them out sarcastically, "Sorry, I didn't realize we were living in fantasyland here. I'm sure Matthew McConaughey will get around to marrying her before she hits 40."