Quote: (06-04-2012 10:09 AM)Vorkuta Wrote:
37 here and was married before for 5 years ( have a 7 year old daughter ) and not a chance in hell I would go down the aisle again. I have a great relationship with my ex,she was a great girl,stunning, and our split was amicable and fair but fuck me I disliked every moment of being hitched to her. As soon as I said "I do" I felt constricted and trapped. I'm not the kind of guy who cheats on my partner so I just felt that all my options were over ( my own fault for getting hitched ). I remember being in Minsk airport and two models were checking in on our flight to Prague and eye fucking me to death and I hated it because I knew that as long as I was married those options to bang were gone. My anger at myself for getting into that situation broke our marriage in the end.
I have a lot of married friends and I can't think of more then two of them who are genuinely very happy in their marriage. A lot of them are under the thumb of their wives and are not far short of terrified of disobeying them. I was out the other night with a mate who recieved calls and texts every 20 minutes from his wife checking up on him and asking him when he would be home. In the end he had to go home early as it was too much for him ( total pussy - he went home at midnight and his wife was angry so she went out clubbing with a friend and came home at 3am drunk. He just accepted this behaviour ).
Other mates of mine are just going through the motions of marriage and try not to do things with their partners if they can avoid it. They have nothing in common except their kids. They are leaving unhappy existences. They are the types you see in restaurants just sitting opposite each other in silence,no laughter or tenderness,just both wishing they were somewhere else but afraid to make the move. That is my idea of a hellish life.
No, I don't see the benefit of marriage. No matter how much I love a girl I would never again walk down the aisle,I always want an easy exit strategy and marriage takes that away. I think a lot of guys I know get married to a girl because they are afraid of not finding anyone better and just want to get someone,anyone, so they marry pretty much their first LTR. They always tell me how they envy my freedom to travel,go out on the town without someone hassling me to know where I am etc. And having been on both sides of the fence I know they are right to do so.
Care to elaborate on your two friends who are happy in their marriages?
I have a friend that loves his marriage, but he is married to a bisexual chick who doesn't want kids. If a Ukranian model eye fucks my buddy, then its threesome time.
I am wondering if I will be satisfied with one woman or will just cheat. I suppose if she is really good in bed, we spend enough time doing our own shit, have really good personality match, and she understands when I want to go off on my own or walk around the beach after smoking a joint, or head out on my boat with beer and buddies.
I do know some people who have good marriages, and some of the common traits are: enough money to not have to be stressed about paying for kids or other things, the husband is alpha, the woman is educated and has a job, career, or serious long term hobby and is also into fitness.
In terms of energy, I have seen the most success in couples where the woman actually puts forth at least 50% of the effort and takes initiative at times. Its kind of cool when you are with an intelligent woman who is capable of doing stuff like coming up with a plan to rock climb or take a 3 day break somewhere. I had a girlfriend from a small town in southern Spain and while she was beautiful and feminine she was just too damn deferential. She had no independence, she never put plans together, and getting her to express an opinion was like pulling teeth. Extremely boring.