[RiverBenjamin]

Okay, so there's this girl who is really freaking me out. We hooked up once a really long time ago, and now she's almost a full fledged stalker. At first I was flattered that she was pursuing me so strongly, but now it's just creepy. She'll text me all this crazy shit like, "We belong together," or "We would make such a cute couple."

When things were just beginning to get weird, I would take the time to respond to her texts and emails, making it clear I wasn't interested in her. Any sane person would take the hint and move on, but this girl simply will not quit. At this point, I don't respond to any attempt she makes to contact me, and yet she continues. I am so glad she doesn't know where I live and the most she has is my cell number. Obviously, I've done what I can to limit my accessibility (blocked my email and facebook), but I still feel really uneasy about this girl.

I'd love to hear some advice from other guys who have dealt with obsessive, stalker chicks...

[speakeasy]

I'm actually dealing with a somewhat obsessive girl now. These are the female equivalent of extreme AFCs with oneitis. They are damaged goods with low self esteem. If you get the hint that a girl has any obsessive tendencies, do not under any circumstance sleep with her, you're going to regret it later, as hard as it is to turn away easy pussy.

She'll eventually move on, don't stress about it too much. Only way to get such girls to drop their interest instantly is maybe to creep them out even more. Tell her that you get off on tormenting small animals or something. 99.9% of girls should run from you like a bat out of hell at that point. Mission accomplished.

[kerouac]

Speakeasy's right, you should screen a girl for warning signs and then avoid the bad ones like the plague!

You're already dealing with it, so I would just say wait it out. One girl who was stalking me for quite some time found one of my online journals, which was pretty damn anonymous, but she snooped around my computer early on and found it in the history bar. I didn't know about this, but one day I wrote a pretty directed journal entry about her, and lo and behold, there was a reply from her. That basically finished things once and for all.

Anyway, use this story for later conversations with girls. We all get a guilty pleasure from talking about psychos/stalkers. ;P

[Kona]

(10-26-2009 10:09 AM)RiverBenjamin Wrote:  

I'd love to hear some advice from other guys who have dealt with obsessive, stalker chicks...

Look to your family and friends for help.

I love my little sisters and don't want them to get into any trouble. I have some Samoan cousins though, that have fingers the size of bananas. Plus, some of my Tongan/Samoan friends' sisters consider me like one of the family.

I've had to have some of these ladies go after a girl or two. Sure, they make it sound like they are doing it because they love you so much and you're family and everything. But the reality is any chance these chicks get to freak out a skinny girl, they are gonna take.

Aloha!

[RiverBenjamin]

Alas, I don't have any Samoan friends to help me out. This girl is convinced we're perfect for each other, and anything I've said to discourage her hasn't worked. In the past, when I would still respond to her, she'd become very upset at my rebuffs and wish me ill will, call me an asshole, etc. Then some time would pass and she'd try again.

Today, after a couple of months with no contact, she tried to re-add me as a friend on facebook, which of course I declined. The last thing I want is for this girl to know who I'm talking to, who my friends are, or any other personal information. I really have no idea why she is behaving this way. She's good looking enough, and discounting her clinical psychopathy, she could get other guys. Hopefully she'll move on soon and become obsessed with some other unlucky guy.

[charmer]

(10-26-2009 10:09 AM)RiverBenjamin Wrote:  

Okay, so there's this girl who is really freaking me out. We hooked up once a really long time ago, and now she's almost a full fledged stalker. At first I was flattered that she was pursuing me so strongly, but now it's just creepy. She'll text me all this crazy shit like, "We belong together," or "We would make such a cute couple."

When things were just beginning to get weird, I would take the time to respond to her texts and emails, making it clear I wasn't interested in her. Any sane person would take the hint and move on, but this girl simply will not quit. At this point, I don't respond to any attempt she makes to contact me, and yet she continues. I am so glad she doesn't know where I live and the most she has is my cell number. Obviously, I've done what I can to limit my accessibility (blocked my email and facebook), but I still feel really uneasy about this girl.

I'd love to hear some advice from other guys who have dealt with obsessive, stalker chicks...

i have been in same place twice where are u right now.

the treatment i gave to my ''beloved'' is to insult her more and more once she comes into contact...she will get hurt always when she will contact you..this will make her contact you less as she will think that you are gonna hurt her feelings again.and when she close the contact,this will be the right time for her to move on,otherwise its not possible for her to move on.

any attempt from your side being nice or being polite or being even bad e.g (telling her that you are a bad guy and she should leave you) will make the case worse,she will get attracted more towards you.

watever you do,just DONT BANG HER.

[Roosh]

Has she said, "If I can't have you then no girl will?"

[speakeasy]

(10-26-2009 04:07 PM)RiverBenjamin Wrote:  

Today, after a couple of months with no contact, she tried to re-add me as a friend on facebook, which of course I declined. The last thing I want is for this girl to know who I'm talking to, who my friends are, or any other personal information. I really have no idea why she is behaving this way. She's good looking enough, and discounting her clinical psychopathy, she could get other guys. Hopefully she'll move on soon and become obsessed with some other unlucky guy.

Yeah, the chic that is currently obsessed with me tried to re-add me and I declined. She however went and added one of my close female friends and is constantly trying to chat her up. I'm pissed at the whole situation of her going and adding my friends. WTF?

She just send me 4 text messages within 5 minutes, one of them saying "I love you". Ignoring her doesn't work either. I'm naturally not the kind of guy that's an asshole. I somewhat believe in karma, or that f'ed up behavior catches up with you someday, so I don't want to be a dick, but I'm not sure there's going to be any amicable way to break this girl's obsession.

[Kona]

(10-27-2009 01:44 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(10-26-2009 04:07 PM)RiverBenjamin Wrote:  

Today, after a couple of months with no contact, she tried to re-add me as a friend on facebook, which of course I declined. The last thing I want is for this girl to know who I'm talking to, who my friends are, or any other personal information. I really have no idea why she is behaving this way. She's good looking enough, and discounting her clinical psychopathy, she could get other guys. Hopefully she'll move on soon and become obsessed with some other unlucky guy.

Yeah, the chic that is currently obsessed with me tried to re-add me and I declined. She however went and added one of my close female friends and is constantly trying to chat her up. I'm pissed at the whole situation of her going and adding my friends. WTF?

She just send me 4 text messages within 5 minutes, one of them saying "I love you". Ignoring her doesn't work either. I'm naturally not the kind of guy that's an asshole. I somewhat believe in karma, or that f'ed up behavior catches up with you someday, so I don't want to be a dick, but I'm not sure there's going to be any amicable way to break this girl's obsession.

Hey I'm sure you two are smart guys and everything.

You better watch it. That shit can get dirty really fast.

Aloha!

[UgSlayer]

Ignore ignore ignore. She'll get the message. If you see her in real life, ignore.

[RiverBenjamin]

Roosh, no, she hasn't said that. I don't even give her the chance to say crazy shit anymore. At this point she mostly just tries to get in contact with me, which I repeatedly refuse. I am a little worried about what exactly she would say, but I'm not stupid enough to find out.

Speakeasy, I agree that being a dick catches up with you. I've really tried to be nice, and completely breaking contact is about as thoughtful as I can be at this point. I'm pretty sure that if she got me on the phone somehow, I would end up saying some really mean things, which is not what I want. Besides, even after I did make it clear that I wasn't interested, she continued to pursue. I think this girl needs professional help. Of course, if I told her this I'm sure she would construe it as me flirting or something...

Isn't it supposed to be needy guys who are prone to stalker behavior?

[yoyo]

Dude - i just tell chicks through a nice curt e-mail that I aint feeling it and I just want to be friends. Its pretty brutal, but to be honest with you, they get the message and usually appreciate it a few months down the road.

The blowoff shit just takes too much energy. Just send the bitch an email. If you need a lie, tell her that you are talking to another chick and have gotten to the point that you need to respect her and be loyal to her, so you are going to need to stop communicating with me.

She'll get over it.

[Off The Reservation]

Found one young one this week 100% certifiable, somewhat by accident in public. Total extent of knowing this girl was one coffee, during which I decided without much effort that she was not normal crazy rather she was dangerous crazy. I politely told her, in person and later by text, I wasn't interested and laid out a complex excuse. Received several pages of texts in reply, trashing my excuse and the human race. Blocked her / expecting to be stalked if I go back to that store.

[RatInTheWoods]

Do you have a pet rabbit?

[Malo]

While not always possible, the best way to have someone not want you, is to have them want to not want you.

What turns her off? If you can subtly show that you are exactly that (*but not in a way that looks like you're trying to put her off on purpose*), then she'll likely lose interest quickly.

Find what she's passionate about, and be passionate about the opposite, and so on.

This isn't always possible to pull off but if you can, it's effective.

[XPQ22]

(10-27-2009 01:44 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

She just send me 4 text messages within 5 minutes, one of them saying "I love you". Ignoring her doesn't work either. I'm naturally not the kind of guy that's an asshole. I somewhat believe in karma, or that f'ed up behavior catches up with you someday, so I don't want to be a dick, but I'm not sure there's going to be any amicable way to break this girl's obsession.

If a girl is behaving like a stalker and not leaving you alone after you've made your desire to be left alone clear - it's not you that's behaving like a dick. If you haven't done anything outrageously terrible or destructive to them (and deciding you don't want to see someone anymore for whatever reason generally does not fall into that category), then their emotional state is NOT your problem.

Ignoring her is the only option for chicks like this, but you must be absolutely consistent, and your frame unshakable. Every time you contact them, it will be interpreted as some secret message that you're actually still into them.

No contact means NO CONTACT.

Eventually they will get the picture and move on to bother someone else. I've sadly had to do this on a couple occasions, and it does work. Be patient.

Edit: Oops, old thread. But this goes for anyone.

[BigTony]

I'm dealing with an Obsessive/Stalker girl right now. I have known her for a few years now so she knows a lot about me. I met her on a dating site and I visited her in person but something about her turned me off. She has a depressing vibe to her. I was so turned off by her vibe that I declined her invitation to stay in a hotel together. She wanted to bang but I just couldn't do it.
She is an average 5 at best but to her credit she is very caring and sweet. She will massage me and

Every time I try to shake her, she starts crying like a little child. She calls me on What's App and emails me almost on a daily basis. She will call me and keep calling until I answer. She treats me like I am the only guy in the world. I have told her many times not to wait for me. She should enjoy her life and meet new people.

The only positive thing here for me is that we live in different countries and there is no way for her to reach me where I live. I am going to have to break free of her at some point.

[XPQ22]

(10-13-2016 01:26 PM)BigTony Wrote:  

Every time I try to shake her, she starts crying like a little child. She calls me on What's App and emails me almost on a daily basis. She will call me and keep calling until I answer. She treats me like I am the only guy in the world. I have told her many times not to wait for me. She should enjoy her life and meet new people.

The only positive thing here for me is that we live in different countries at there is no way for her to reach me where I live. I am going to have to break free of her at some point.

Yep. The only way to deal with these obsessives is to go complete no contact. Trying to reason with her and tell her she should meet new people won't have any effect, it might actually make things worse.

Block her on everything, and she'll almost certainly find someone else to glom onto within a month or two. Beware that if you're in the same circles on social media, she may attempt to run a "smear campaign" to your friends and say you said and did things that you didn't as a means of exacting revenge. Usually it's clearly nonsense, so If that happens the best way to deal with isn't to argue, but to just tell whatever friend brings it up "I don't know what she's talking about" and then ignore any further attempts to raise the topic.

[torridon747]

(10-26-2009 10:09 AM)RiverBenjamin Wrote:  

Okay, so there's this girl who is really freaking me out.

You already know the answer my man. Make it extremely clear you don't like her, don't give her any more attention. I know pussy is pussy but not this pussy, this pussy will actively try to fuck up your life on a whim.

If you do fuck with it be on some 007 shit, no real names, no addresses, no way to figure out your real identity. I'm guessing you've already passed the point where that was possible so it's pretty obvious your only option is to not only abandon ship but burn that fucker down and not look back.

Good luck

[BigTony]

(10-13-2016 03:37 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

(10-13-2016 01:26 PM)BigTony Wrote:  

Every time I try to shake her, she starts crying like a little child. She calls me on What's App and emails me almost on a daily basis. She will call me and keep calling until I answer. She treats me like I am the only guy in the world. I have told her many times not to wait for me. She should enjoy her life and meet new people.

The only positive thing here for me is that we live in different countries at there is no way for her to reach me where I live. I am going to have to break free of her at some point.

Yep. The only way to deal with these obsessives is to go complete no contact. Trying to reason with her and tell her she should meet new people won't have any effect, it might actually make things worse.

Block her on everything, and she'll almost certainly find someone else to glom onto within a month or two. Beware that if you're in the same circles on social media, she may attempt to run a "smear campaign" to your friends and say you said and did things that you didn't as a means of exacting revenge. Usually it's clearly nonsense, so If that happens the best way to deal with isn't to argue, but to just tell whatever friend brings it up "I don't know what she's talking about" and then ignore any further attempts to raise the topic.

Thanks XPQ22. She was actually on my Facebook years ago but then she started making friends with my family members. She started telling people stories about our "relationship" and then I finally had close my account.

She is the type of girl who guys would pump, find out she is bat sheet crazy then dump. Good thing I never had sex with her....Maybe things would be 10x worst.

[UlteriorMotive]

I agree with the other posters, just ignore.

I had issues with a stalker/crazy bitch a few years ago.

Her mother came into the store I was working at, she needed help fixing a laptop and me being a good samaratin I fixed it and dropped it round to their house.

As I was about to leave the mother laid it on me pretty thick (late 40's / puffy around the waist) I made an excuse and bounced.

The mother never came back in but her daughter (6-6.5 half indian half british) who I'd only met briefly started coming in every other day and chatting with me. This soon turned into daily with her spending hours in the store.

My colleague thought it would be a good wind up to give her my number.

One day she came in and started showing me the self harm scars on her legs and upper thighs aswell as on her stomach.

Later that night and for weeks after i started getting weird texts from her saying she misses me and shes feeling really depressed and wants me to come over + sexy photos, i ignored it. I started to ignore her and i would work in the back when she came in the store knowing this is one type of crazy I don't need.

To combat my ducking and diving she would hide in the bushes opposite the store at closing time and pretend to walk by as I was closing up.

Eventually I told her to delete my number and leave me alone for good in person, she lost her shit in the store (slapping me and throwing stuff off the shelves at me) and caught a ban from the store and the complex

I received pictures via whatsapp of her new cuts for a few months after until it stopped.

[Mr. Scumbag]

I've had a few Asian girls stalk me and do some pretty crazy things.

Just block them on all social media apps, and do not give out too much personal information to any girl. I rarely give out my last name, for example.

[GreyFFM]

some good advice above, but I'll add two additional ideas.

first, there are a lot of people out there with mental and emotional problems. there is no way to know how violent or disruptive they might get. don't underestimate this one, and keep a journal of their offensive actions in case you need to involve the police.

I had one that lasted longer than 6 months and didn't really end until I moved 10 hours away (for an unrelated reason).

at the time, i was temping and worked a different place many days. somehow, she would show up after work - would have had to follow me to work, etc.

also, when I would go out with new girls, she would show up as I was leaving. she likely was spying on me the whole time.

she really was only borderline unstable, but if she was violent she really could have done some damage to me or someone else. her father was military so she had access to weapons, etc. don't want to be alarmist, but you should be prepared mentally.

finally, my new girl really got a thrill out of the attention. she would tell her friends about my stalker. they would play a game when we were out at bars to see if they could spot "her, " and this game was prompted by the fact that stalker used to follow us to bars and spy on us and then make a point of coming out of hiding and saying goodbye to us as we left. it was very Glen-Close-Fatal-Attraction, and my girl was a little scared. However, it was also a bizzarro form of social proof and dread game rolled into one that I stumbled upon, with the unintentional result that my new girls' friends used to try to seduce me (but I was a beta with oneitis then).

since then, i have gotten a lot of milage out of that story. lizards become enthralled when you tell them you had a stalker. you don't even have to tell them why - their lizard brains will invent a reason. its the lengths that the stalker would go to and the details of the situations that will have them enthralled. ymmv

[XPQ22]

(10-14-2016 10:08 AM)GreyFFM Wrote:  

finally, my new girl really got a thrill out of the attention. she would tell her friends about my stalker. they would play a game when we were out at bars to see if they could spot "her, " and this game was prompted by the fact that stalker used to follow us to bars and spy on us and then make a point of coming out of hiding and saying goodbye to us as we left. it was very Glen-Close-Fatal-Attraction, and my girl was a little scared. However, it was also a bizzarro form of social proof and dread game rolled into one that I stumbled upon, with the unintentional result that my new girls' friends used to try to seduce me (but I was a beta with oneitis then).

since then, i have gotten a lot of milage out of that story. lizards become enthralled when you tell them you had a stalker. you don't even have to tell them why - their lizard brains will invent a reason. its the lengths that the stalker would go to and the details of the situations that will have them enthralled. ymmv

A young woman who was stalked once gets a lifetime of sympathy, but when you tell a young woman you were stalked by a BPD wackadoo (honestly who here hasn't been), even feminists will say "Oh, tee hee that sounds exciting that must have been fun for you, gosh you're so popular! Hee Hee what a charming adventure"

(10-13-2016 11:32 PM)UlteriorMotive Wrote:  

The mother never came back in but her daughter (6-6.5 half indian half british) who I'd only met briefly started coming in every other day and chatting with me. This soon turned into daily with her spending hours in the store.

I think it's a sad indictment of the modern dating seen that whenever a girl seems legitimately attracted to me without a lot of effort on my part, I automatically think "ah she's crazy" and start looking for BPD-tells. Why aren't you treating me like trash like a "normal" Western girl anyway, lady?

(10-13-2016 11:32 PM)UlteriorMotive Wrote:  

Eventually I told her to delete my number and leave me alone for good in person, she lost her shit in the store (slapping me and throwing stuff off the shelves at me) and caught a ban from the store and the complex

I received pictures via whatsapp of her new cuts for a few months after until it stopped.

Sweet baby Jesus!

One time I blocked a chick on everything, but I forgot we were still associated on Amazon.com. She started sending me unsolicited gift cards, sometimes up to $100, and used the "gift message" field to write messages to me asking for another chance. I finally had to call Amazon to ask them to take steps to block her, but the nincompoops ended up accidentally deleting my whole account in the process, so I lost all my points and purchase history.

The world's most expensive instant-messaging service. The crazy truly knows no bounds.

[GreyFFM]

as far as telling other people you have been stalked, your frame is important.

as a man, you are not going to get any sympathy, even though women are more likely to be insane and therefore dangerous. keep a journal in case you need police help.

but when telling other lizards, play it off as an excuse why you are secretive, reluctant to let her know your last name, whatever excuse you want. but when you bring it up, less is more. they get a whiff of another chick obsessing over you, and they will beg you for details. make them work for the details. again, less is more because the details you don't give her about yourself her mind will fill in with whatever idealized state is to her. In other words, if a perfect guy in her mind is someone who has access to great parties, then your old lizard stalked you because you took the old lizard to great parties. If in her mind the ideal guy is a fantastic lover, then the old lizard stalked you because you were such a good lover.

this stuff is like crack, not just for your new lizard but for all of her friends. again, this was something I stumbled upon pre-game. its a wierd and very powerful combination of social proof and dread game. and it keeps paying dividends. I mean, you could be out to dinner with the new lizard, things might be getting vanilla, and then just interrupt up and tell her you saw someone at the bar who looked like your stalker. So even when you shake the stalker, you can pretend to have maybe seen her. Do this especially when her hot friends are around.