[Mr.GM]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homesickness

Today I met two well-traveled older men , and our chat brought me to write this topic.


They say that a man is forever tied to his homeland.

It's not unusual to hear , even from guys who are used to the expat life for a long time , that they always feel like outsiders , even though they love their current country and considerer it way better than their place of birth in terms of quality of life , economy and even women.


"You feel like if a piece of you was missing" one said.

"There's no place like home"

" You can achieve happiness and sucess living in a foreign "paradise" for long years, but at some point down the road you will eventually miss home."

"We have an intrinsec bond to our land"


True ?

[Pilgrim37]

Can be true...there is a "draw" back to your culture .

But,if you haven't been back for a long time then you return and things don't look as rosy as you remember ,maybe you remember why you left in the first place.

If you have started a family abroad in your spouse's country ...then that is home even if you keep tabs on "back home".

Home is where the heart is ,to repeat a cliche ,where friends and immediate family are,that is a powerful draw.

[el mechanico]

It's true. I was joking around in the store the other day having a good time and thinking that no way I would ever be able to do that in another language in another country. Even people who speak fluent english from another country would have no idea what we were talking about. My mothers sister moved to Athens Greece in 1966 and she's in a group for displaced people. She also helps Americans get out of jail when the Greek gov makes examples out of them such as having a few joints at the airport and getting 5 years in jail. she even speaks english when she shops because the greeks give her shit about her accent.

[americanInEurope]

I came back home after 10 years on the road because I missed it. Now I'm kinda wishing I could go back. Being home is safe and secure, but that's not what drives me. Traveling makes me feel like I'm doing something with my life and the girls overseas are much much better. Plus in my industry the money is better overseas. You can always visit home, or have some investments or property at home to keep you coming back every year. But I don't think I'll come back to live here again for a long time. At least not the east coast.

[Samseau]

Where you spend your childhood will always have a disproportionate draw on your emotional psychology.

[Roosh]

In my first big trip abroad, I started getting homesick at one month. By six months I was absolutely dying to go home.

In my second big trip abroad, I started getting homesick at around 9 months. By 13 months wanted to go home.

In my third big trip abroad, I've been away for 13 months and am not homesick. I can go on for longer.

[Yul Brynner]

I grew up in two diffrent countries. 10+ Years in each. It was just two cities but over those 20 years it must have been over a dozen apartments/houses and 6-7 different schools.
I never really felt homesick but occasionally got a bit nostalgic for a couple of things that I couldn't find elsewhere [types of food, smells etc]
As somoene who is used to constant change it's never been an issue.

The longest I've travelled continously was 6 months and the only thing I missed [that I couldn't buy] was sharing some of the incredible experiences with my best friend.

The longer you travel on your own, the more you learn about yourself. Make your peace with what you discover.

[2Birds_1Stone]

I think it depends on your circumstances. I haven't traveled nearly as much as some of the cats on this forum but I have been away from home for extended periods of time. I never felt homesick although at times I missed the home-cooked meals and security you feel when you are in familiar place.

I was born in a foreign country and spent most of my childhood moving from place to place. As a result, I consider myself a nomad or better yet a chameleon who can adapt to his surroundings to survive. Also, I think some of us travel for the adventure and thrill it gives us. To me there is no other feeling sitting in a plane when it's about to take off. I can go anywhere I want, it makes me feel powerful.

Traveling is my drug

[tomtud]

I have met many expats from all over the world. But once one marries a local girl, they typically stay forever. For example, teachers who are working in s.america in the international school circuit have mostly wifed up with a local broad. Yes exceptions do exist, but somehow a foreshadowing of sorts will happen to me when I go there.

[chamele0n]

(04-06-2012 01:22 PM)tomtud Wrote:  

I have met many expats from all over the world. But once one marries a local girl, they typically stay forever. For example, teachers who are working in s.america in the international school circuit have mostly wifed up with a local broad. Yes exceptions do exist, but somehow a foreshadowing of sorts will happen to me when I go there.

Most people for the first couple of years seem to enjoy the experience until they realize that their peers back at home ended up with better jobs and are better off socially than a 40-year old English teacher / backpacker. Who would you say is better off? It's hard for most people to find real jobs abroad so they mostly end up teaching English for peanuts which many wouldn't consider a real job.

[johnw28]

I believe that there is a natural bond to your own homeland. However it is very possible to stay in a foreign land and be happy. Sometimes you just have to incorporate a small part of your past into your present.

[MidniteSpecial]

There's no feeling in the world like when you first touch down in your home town from a long trip. Especially when your in the car and see the sign for your exit on the thruway, priceless. Looking for people in the hood on the way back to my place, rolling the window down, shouting some bullshit, its like you never left. No matter where I've gone in my life, there is no place like home. And there's def no place like NY. Think it just comes down to the connections we've made and feelings we have associated with our home, sometimes its a comfort blanket type of thing. Its easy to make those connections out of town and create those new memories and feelings, but its just never quite the same. In fact some times when I make a real good connection somewhere else, its almost depressing coming back.

[Brian]

moving abroad is like tipping over a coke machine - you cant do it in one motion - you have to rock it back and forth and each rock gets bigger and bigger until it finally tips. moving abroad is like this - first you go visit a friend in a far off country and stay a couple week. then you decide to move away for a few months. you come back 6 months later and shit is exactly the same - same people at the same bars sitting in the same spots. eventually you realize w/the exception of a few friends you really dont see that much anyways you really aren't missing anything by being except some friends and family, and the trade off isnt worth it if you aren't happy with other components of your life.

[Beyond Borders]

The thing is though, as much as you miss home, the longer you spend back there on arrival the more you wonder what exactly you missed. A lot of those things you think you miss are in great part an illusion, and that illusion can't help but fade over time when reality stares you in the face.

It's good to head home from time to time to satisfy that longing and reconnect with old ties, but for me at least it will always have to be temporary. I could never be happy staying "home" for the long-term. That high only takes a month or two to dissipate.

Also, as someone mentioned above that once you started getting older you'd realize people back home were doing better, that's again often an illusion. The vast majority of common Americans are miserable with their lives. Ignore the Facebook effect, which has them always painting that pretty picture.

Not to mention that there are plenty of other options overseas than becoming a 40 year old TEFL teacher. That's only one road and probably the easiest road, which is why so many go at it. I also meet quite a few people who've started businesses overseas and would never trade their lives for going back.

Others work their way into careers with multinationals (which is admittedly easier to do if you start back in the states) and some kill with virtual businesses and careers. It's typically not the 4-hour work week but it's still pretty sweet if you have your priorities straight.

[Stitch]

/shrug. Admittedly England wasn't a massive step different from the US, but when I went over to stay for three years I never really missed home at all; looking forward to going back, in fact.

[rudebwoy]

(02-02-2012 03:48 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

In my first big trip abroad, I started getting homesick at one month. By six months I was absolutely dying to go home.

In my second big trip abroad, I started getting homesick at around 9 months. By 13 months wanted to go home.

In my third big trip abroad, I've been away for 13 months and am not homesick. I can go on for longer.

I have the utmost respect at your ability to be alone on the road for so long. When do you think you will get homesick? or do you?

[sheesh]

The main problem with living abroad is the foreign language imho. Unless you move to a country and already speak its language to some degree or move there at a young age, you can pretty much forget about ever reaching the proficiency of a native speaker.

Language is not only they key to social integration but also a requesite to enjoy the local culture, literature etc. Without it, life can be very dull, especially if you are more of an intellectual type and need more in life than football and beer.

Most importantly though, will you ever be able to fully communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner or children ? Living abroad to bang chicks is ok, but for a relationship/marriage, that's an entirely different matter and I've seen more sad than happy cases.

[Timoteo]

I don't ever think I could leave home forever. I love NYC too much, but I also know that I can spend long periods away from it though. I have to have a plan though - not just aimless wanderings, but a purpose to be in each place, with a plan for what I want to do there. Then I'd need to come home for a while to gear up for another trip. I'd love to be in a position where I can leave during the worst of the winter - like right after New Years until maybe April or so. That would be good enough for me. Any other trips would be gravy. I've always been used to doing things by myself, so I'm not daunted by long periods being alone.

[joehoya]

I usually can only tolerate living abroad for 3 months at a time max. Any more and I start:
1) getting homesick (mostly for American food)
2) taking for granted all of the cool stuff (particularly the pussy) in the new country

1-3 months at a time keeps a country fresh for me. My ideal schedule would be 3 months foreign, 1 month domestic.

[freshcream]

My longest trip so far has been 1 month, did get a bit homesick. Did get the travel blues when I came back though

[xsplat]

I've forgotten what the concept of home means.

Home is where I hang my hat.

But ya, no one makes me laugh like other Canadians do.

[2Birds_1Stone]

I'm an american, since I've been living here for quite a while but I have to say I don't fit in with people here. The materialist culture is not something I long for even though I want to be financially successful. I enjoy meeting new people and learning about new cultures instead of buying shiny new toys or buying 500 dollar bottles at the club. I go against the current.

I have faced racism all my life and its made me mentally capable of handling nearly anything. Living among foreign people helps you stand out among the other men in that society. In a way you could use that to your benefit. Its peacocking without trying and if used correctly will give you the upper hand with the local girls. If you have a unique look and you have a confident aura their attraction for you will already be high because they are curious and will be more open to you(may be not sexually at first). Although, living in one place for too long may wear away the excitement for it you should try to immerse yourself with the people(you never know what you could learn). This can also make you more well rounded and by result more interesting.

[2Birds_1Stone]

Let's face it women can be drag but if we want to slay we have to play. I think some guys might become homesick because of the obstacles they face with the women in the foreign country. One of the problems that guys have (especially coming from a western country) they are always thinking about the pussy. (I'm guilty of this as well) You need to just not give a fuck sometimes and do you. Guys like G manifesto have elaborated on this topic before and I think other forum members have touched on this as well.

Enjoy the moment because your time is limited and think of all the suckas who don't have the opportunity to travel like you do.

[Mr.GM]

(04-09-2012 09:52 AM)2Birds_1Stone Wrote:  

Let's face it women can be drag but if we want to slay we have to play. I think some guys might become homesick because of the obstacles they face with the women in the foreign country. One of the problems that guys have (especially coming from a western country) they are always thinking about the pussy. (I'm guilty of this as well) You need to just not give a fuck sometimes and do you. Guys like G manifesto have elaborated on this topic before and I think other forum members have touched on this as well.

Enjoy the moment because your time is limited and think of all the suckas who don't have the opportunity to travel like you do.

this is very true , I knew a handful of brazilian guys who lived in europe and didn't adapt , talking to them later one would find out that the main reason in the end was the lack of sex (they couldn't handle the bitch shields because they were used with easier brazilian women)

[AlphaTravel]

I found that whenever Brazilians get out of the country they realise just how wonderful Brazil actually is and that all these other places they dreamed of going just cannot match their home country causing them dissapointment. Loads of Brazilians I know thought Europe seemed like the best place ever only to go live / travel there and not like it nearly as much as they thought and long for home. I can't blame them they really do have one of the most wonderful countries in the world.