There is a section on David Deida's great book "The Way of the Superior Man" where he says "live as if your father was dead".
There are many grown man that even way past their father's "physical" death so to speak carry their father's voice within them, judging, criticising, blaming etc.
It is difficult, but there is a basic understanding that you should have... all of us... The only power that our fathers (anyone?) has over us is the power we bestow over them. They only have the power to influence our lives if we "allow" them so, not so much on literal terms, but on psychological terms.
You can try and talk to him, but that might not work... If he is open enough you can give it a try. But trying to change other people for your own personal relief is a very frustrating way to solve things, and it doesn't work as planned most of the time.
Change yourself. Realise that it is not so much your physical, literal father that disrupts you, but the figure that "you" created inside yourself of him. And as it is a part of -you- it can be changed. And when you change things on the inside, things tend to change and get better on the outside as well.
Ironically, the only way to fully love and appreciate your father is to "kill" his figure inside yourself. Then you learn how to fully love in your own terms, without holding any grudges.
There are many grown man that even way past their father's "physical" death so to speak carry their father's voice within them, judging, criticising, blaming etc.
It is difficult, but there is a basic understanding that you should have... all of us... The only power that our fathers (anyone?) has over us is the power we bestow over them. They only have the power to influence our lives if we "allow" them so, not so much on literal terms, but on psychological terms.
You can try and talk to him, but that might not work... If he is open enough you can give it a try. But trying to change other people for your own personal relief is a very frustrating way to solve things, and it doesn't work as planned most of the time.
Change yourself. Realise that it is not so much your physical, literal father that disrupts you, but the figure that "you" created inside yourself of him. And as it is a part of -you- it can be changed. And when you change things on the inside, things tend to change and get better on the outside as well.
Ironically, the only way to fully love and appreciate your father is to "kill" his figure inside yourself. Then you learn how to fully love in your own terms, without holding any grudges.