[Excelsior]

(10-29-2011 11:46 PM)Batata Wrote:  

You are giving off a beta vibe, as in you're not being assertive and confident enough.

Or you're being too assertive/confident without the right substance to back it up.

An example to illustrate:

I dove into the game full force when I got to college. I dealt with some approach anxiety early, but I realized that once I got a little alcohol in me I became practically fearless and very sexually aggressive. I figured this was a good thing (it is college, right?), so I ran with it.

One of my common practices involved venturing to frat dance parties across campus and approaching cute girls (some I casually knew, some I didn't) on the floor to dance/grind with them.
Using some game advice I'd read around the net, I assumed it would be crucial to escalate. I began to do the "turn around" frequently (grinding with the girl from behind, grab her hand and twirl her around so she is now facing you as you continue grinding). From here, I could gauge the potential for making a move/makeout.

The problem is that, on my campus anyway, girls really don't like to do this unless you've built a ton of rapport/comfort or are very high status (rich, tall, white, alpha-male, lax-bro looking type in top fraternity). I had none of these things, so girls viewed my twirling them around as an issue. They were never comfortable, and would frequently disengage or turn back around for a minute or two before leaving.
Later on, it would get back to me (usually via my friends, who may have also been talking to the same girls casually) that they thought I was "creepy".

What'd I do wrong? I wasn't timid. One the contrary, I was quite aggressive in approaching the girls I liked and trying to escalate. I was pretty much running what Roosh called Brazilian "Cave-Man" game.
I wasn't lacking in confidence either. I fully expected to succeed.

The reason I failed stemmed from the fact that in the particular environment I was in (small, Ivy League campus), girls usually required a lot more rapport and tighter, more extensive use of game before any moves were made (unless you had certain social/economic prerequisites, which I did not). Raw, aggressive approaches don't fly, even if they are actually attracted to you. These girls are far too restrained, analytical and cautious for any of that to work-even if they feel you on a physical level, they simply will not let themselves express that openly, especially in front of many others. When you try to pull it off anyway, they'll start to feel uncomfortable. When a girl is uncomfortable or doesn't understand the behavior she's seeing from a guy, the "creepy" label inevitably follows.

So, the lesson here is that your environment is important. At a state school or back in high school where the rules/physical preferences girls adhere to are different, I might have gotten away with the cave-man game I ran. In college, I was just a creep, and a little less raw aggression and quieter confidence would have probably helped me avoid that label. Nuance is key-you're only a creep if you violate the rules/expectations girls have of the environment you're in. My environment prohibited super-aggressive dudes, so I was a creep.

Understand the rules girls have in your environment, and tailor your game to them. Chances are, all you're doing wrong is violating these expectations.