Quote: (08-28-2011 01:58 PM)Samseau Wrote:
Quote: (08-27-2011 01:05 PM)MrLemon Wrote:
Then out of the blue, I found what my buddy jokingly called "the last hot non-feminist chick in the world." An american woman who actually wanted to settle down and be a good wife. Imagine that.
What convinced you to settle with her?
Well first of all, I made the decision that I wanted to find a wife. I had tired of the girls I was dating or pursuing and wanted a new challenge. I viewed "finding a decent wife and building a family that is not fucked up by american culture" to be a huge challenge that I was ready to step up to.
To me that is step #1, by which I mean, the *man* makes his decision to get married. He doesn't get married because some girlfriend has tricked or sweetalked him into it -- any halfway decent man will have a dozen of these kinds of girlfriends. Fuck all that. The man makes his own decision when he is ready to select a wife, and the kind of woman he's going to commit to (and give his paycheck to for the rest of his life). If he doesn't find a woman worthy of his sacrifice (and there are damned few of them in the modern world) then he doesn't do it. Simple as that.
Anyway I decided I did want to find that, and I was going to make it happen. I talked to a friend who was a brilliant guy, a Rabbi (even though I'm not Jewish). We walked and drank coffee for many days. At the end of that time he proposed that I should write a page or two describing the kind of woman I wanted to be my wife and the mother of my children, (as opposed to the kind of women I had been pursuing until then, which were sluts that I could dispose of without concern.) So I wrote out a few paragraphs, and did it with as much personal honor and integrity as I could.
Lo and behold a week later I ran into this girl while hanging with friends, asked her on a date. We actually wrote a few letters back and forth first, it was kind of nice and old fashioned
Then on our first real date, she steps out the door dressed like a 50-s style brunette movie star...I mean, the woman was an all american knockout, plus sweet as sexy as hell. My knees went kind of weak, hard to explain. I took her to the most expensive restaurant in town and we never looked back after then.
Actually took a while to make the final decision. I'm pretty intellectual and driven, and she just isn't...more of a liberal arts type, not into technology, hardworking but no career really. She was drifting along kind of looking for a man and trying to figure out what to do with her life.
I wasn't sure I could handle that kind of a woman. But her sweetness and the fact that our chemistry was screaming (to this day, just the smell of her gives me an instant raging boner) won out.
Now I laugh thinking how ridiculous it would have been for a high-maintenance intellectual asshole like me to marry a high-maintenance woman. Disaster in the making. I married a sweet patient women who loves kids and likes to cook and is willing to put up with my bullshit. She's got her own of course, but a different flavor so it's a bit more palatable.
One final thing to mention...read a book called "the Selfish Gene". The bottom line is, genetic chemistry rules. If you find a woman who smells great, and makes your pupils dialate and your heart hammer and your blood burn in your veins, that's your genes screaming at you, telling you this woman will make great babies for you. Listen to those genes. They have been choosing mates for hundreds of millions of years, with all that deep magical circuitry in your DNA. They know what they are doing.
It's entirely possible our marriage will fail like so many others. Our society basically baits and tortures married couples, trying to split them up and destroy their family unit. We are surrounded at all times by twisted people who feel bitter about their own failures, and who therefore are always looking for ways to sabotage the few happy examples who make them feel less successful.
My wife is surrounded by bitter divorced women who are looking for very sneaky ways to poison her feelings against men. She resists it and I fight it, but she may yet slip and fall.
It's always the wives who file for divorce...always. And 9 times out of 10 they end up destroying not only their children's happiness, and their family unit, but end up a bitter shell themselves, forever guilty, forever trying to explain or intellectualize why they killed their family and crushed the hearts of their children (which is what happens in a divorce). But that's what our system is set up to create.
Anyway enough ranting. Sorry this is so long guys.