[Tytalus]

(06-07-2015 03:54 AM)Nightwing Wrote:  

By submissive, we mean a woman who will love us unconditionally, will care for us when we need it, will cook us a warm and hearty meal when we get back from a hard day of work, and not say it's 'sexist' to cook. We want a woman who will take our opinion into consideration, actually listen to us when we speak, and not start a fight just for the sake of starting a fight. We can only dream that this woman will follow us to the ends of the Earth (I guess this saying doesn't really apply anymore because we have figured out that the Earth is round like a ball), but she must also be willing to please her man.

From what I get, these 'business trips' 9.5 submissives you are talking about, you probably mean the company entertainers who are paid to be secretaries/poon servers. They get paid very well to suck your cock, but it's all about their earnings. I'm sure if you offered them better incentives, they could be your personal poon secretaries too. We don't want these ones for marriage, though.

Again, we don't want a servant that turns over the tray, and waits on us when we talk submissive, we want a woman who cares for her famjam, and has an undying love for her husband.

Two different things.

(06-18-2015 12:17 PM)loki Wrote:  

Disclaimer: I have never been married and never intend on being married.

However I have noticed in my LTR's over time, I start to see cracks in their acts after 2-3 yrs max, sometimes sooner. Sure they are nice as pie up until then but sooner or later you will get a dose of the real bitch hiding inside.

I don't think this gets talked about around here very much since this website is more for short term relationships than long term relationships.

There is NO SUCH THING as unconditional romantic love. It is hopeless, hopelessly naive and immature to believe such a thing exists. Your parents will probably love you forever, but in love? No way. Romantic love lasts 2 years tops. Then your blinders come off and your judgement comes back and you wonder who the fuck you married and what the fuck you were thinking. This happens to BOTH genders. She will not be enchanted with you forever. You will make mistakes and displays of low value (hopefully not too many) and will become much more realistic about who you really are over time. The same will happen with you about who she is.

If you want someone to unconditionally love you no matter what, then yeah, don't get married and have a good relationship with your mom.

You want your wife to love and appreciate you forever? Well be a man, not a chump. Fix the shit in your house without her asking you to, let alone having to remind you. Keep your cool. Keep your career and income steady and rising over time. Be good with your kids and not lose your shit. Help out a bit when she's having a bad day. Flirt with her plenty and play grab ass when the kids aren't looking. Pass her shit tests.

You cannot just be, and expect her to love you.

Also I think one should also keep in mind that you really can't be looking for a unicorn. Everyone has rough parts of their personalities. Everyone. We here accuse women of having long laundry lists of desirable traits, well, guys can do the same thing.

With things that are NOT major red flags, remember that the only time you have leverage to change her behavior is BEFORE the wedding, the engagement in particular.

She has a lousy diet but still thin? Get her to clean it up. Doesn't exercise as much as you like? Get her to the gym more. She gains 5 lbs? Tell her she needs to lose it ASAP.

My wife's friend married a man, who I shit you not, will not drink anything (or so I hear) other than cherry coke. Goes through at least 6 cans a day of the stuff. So severely unhealthy in his lifestyle that the friend can't get pregnant. Had she spoken up and said this HAD to change for them to get married, well, his health may be lousy instead of being a wreck.

Conversely, another friend of my wife's was complaining that her husband spoke up as she hit 145 lbs, and was 140 when she married him. I couldn't believe it, this quiet, mild mannered dutch guy belligerently on his wife's case every time she hit 145 on the scale. And, to boot, she lost the weight every time he told her to.

My reaction on the inside was a combination of:



On the outside, I was upfront. I said as soon as he was cool with her putting on 5 lbs, she'd have another 5 lbs, then "145" would be her new normal. And then 150 etc. She didn't like that I didn't back her up, but at the same time, agreed with what I told her.

Another piece of advice, don't rush into marriage. It takes at least 3 months, to see personality patterns. I don't believe in long engagements, keep those things short so you don't give her, your mother, and her mother several months to plan on how to fritter away your hard earned money on one stupid day.

Here are some links to Athol Kay's blog about unconditional love that are interesting.

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2012/02/unc...antage-of/

http://marriedmansexlife.com/2011/07/fat...onal-love/