[SirSpanky]

Baghdad Datasheet - The next Poosy Paradise?

This datasheet is a result of a two-month trip to Baghdad during January and February of 2015.

Before arriving

I highly recommend signing up for an Ummaland account. The majority of the girls you meet will prefer to be contacted through it. Also having a few pictures of you in mosques will come in handy for your account.

Iraqi Girls

Iraqi girls are by far by the most attractive in the Middle East. Although some forum members gaming in Saudi Arabia may disagree, the girls here definitely wear their Hijabs with less seriousness, and in Baghdad even more so. It’s not uncommon to see a girl in a Niqab with her eyebrows showing, something I seldom saw during my time spent in Riyadh. Although as with most places in the Middle East, the majority of girls are mainly focused on meeting Muslim men, so lying about your religion here is almost a necessity. Despite this I have seen men in Kippahs making it rain with much success, but this is also dependant on which club you are in. It should also be noted that most of the girls here still have their hymens intact and don’t plan on loosing them anytime soon. Therefore if you don’t like anal or lack a prepared wedding ring, perhaps Baghdad isn’t the place for you.

The girls in Baghdad can be broken down into three categories:

1.



These girls are smoking hot and usually only interested in devoted Muslim Sheikhs wanting 12+ children or on the night marriage proposals. Expect a lot of blowouts if dealing with these women. Despite this, its not impossible to get a ONS with one of these girls, I managed one myself.

2.



These are what you would call ‘good girls’ and they’re a lot easier to approach than number 1 girls. Although most conversations hint towards marriage, and if you told her you weren’t Muslim, then likely about your impending adoption of the Islamic faith – then marriage.

3.



These girls are straight-up sluts, as you can see by their revealed face. Getting a ONS is incredibly easy and most do not even have their hymens intact; also feel free to tell these girls you aren’t Muslim, they usually don’t have sex with Muslim guys due to the lack of a Hymen and possibility of execution. If you are coming to Baghdad for the weekend, these girls would be your best bet.

Iraqi Guys

I’ve never seen men go to such extremities for any purpose or ideology, especially Muslims of all people. However in Iraq, being a cockblocker is definitely a part of life. An extreme example is one Sheikh calling in a bomb threat at ‘Mo-Hammered’ when I was just about to ask a girl for her hand in marriage. Another one accused me of being a Shiite to the security guards, which found me being detained for two days before I could convince them otherwise. Needless to say, after these two days, the girl wasn’t very responsive to my messages on Ummaland. However the most common is the classic ISIS insurgent ID check. The ISIS insurgent checked my ID and then made an effort to tell this girl I had a Christian name, despite my earlier success in convincing her my name was Mohammed. I find the best way to deal with these cockblockers is to grow a beard before coming here; Iraqi men are much more accepting of hipsters it seems.


Iraqi guys gearing up for a big night of cockblocking.

Other foreigners in Baghdad

The foreigners here have to be the worst of anywhere I have been. They have minimal game and terrible attitude. For some unknown reason they all seem to dress the same as well; particularly unstylish. These guys pose no threat and believe a normal conversation to be talking about how ‘traumatic’ their job is without considering updating their resume and applying for a new one. They also piss me off when they say they’re going “back to their base”; call it a fucking hotel like a normal person. Finally they have this weird obsession for talking about how they miss home. Why travel if you’re just going to reminisce about when you were in your home country? Book a flight back already.


Typical foreigners before a night out. Lose the hats and glasses, chumps.


Nightlife review

Little Mecca

Days to go:

1)Thursday
2)Saturday

Openness to Infidels:

Very Low

Location:

Rusafa District

Overview:

This is the main upper class club of the city, filled with number 1 girls. Drinks are very expensive (and non-alcoholic) and expect a lot of cockblocking from the local Sheikhs. Also it is a good idea to say you are a Muslim here; there is a decapitation room for infidels out the back and checks are not uncommon. I was present for one in which I had to lie and say I left my passport in my apartment. I was thrown out of the club but my head still remains attached so that’s a plus.

Beer-qa

Days to go:

1)Wednesday
2)Sunday
3)Saturday

Openness to Infidels:

Very High

Location:

Adhamiyah District

Overview:

This place is frequented by expats and mostly number 3 girls. During the day it’s a restaurant with a particular focus on local craft beers. However at night the prayer mats are pushed aside to make a dance floor. This is one of a few places in the city that doesn’t have a Sheikh inspecting the dancing area, so feel free to break the 1-meter distance rule imposed at most other places. The majority of my notches came from here and is definitely the place to be for short stays.

Kalashnikov

Days to go:

1)Friday
2)Saturday
3)Wednesday (Infidel Night)

Openness to Infidels:

Medium

Location:

Karkh District

Overview:

The most popular club in the city, always packed with many number 2 girls on the weekend. If you are seeking a notch from this place it’s ideal to say you’re a Muslim and express particular interest in marriage and 12+ children. In fact when gaming here I would frequently carry a ring box and ‘unknowingly’ flash it to girls. ISIS insurgent checks are frequent here, so it’s a good idea to carry a fake Muslim-named ID to avoid ISIS cockblocking.

Mo-hammered

Days to go:

1)Saturday (Sheikh’s Night)
2)Friday (Sheikh’s Night)
3)Thursday (Sheikh’s Night)

Openness to Infidels:

Very low

Location:

Al Rashid District

Overview:

By far the most conservative club in Baghdad. The dress code is Burqas for women and Gutras for men, so I suggest buying one of these from the market beforehand. I would also strongly suggest bringing a Quran with you, which simplifies the hunt for a wingman on the night. Also being able to recite a few prayers in Arabic will work wonders for the ladies here.

Bang report

1. 6/10. 24 years old. ONS from ‘Kalashnikov’

Hymen Status: Intact
Face covering: Berqa

Proposed to her near the bar and she said yes. Tried to convince her to have vaginal sex since we were ‘engaged’ now, but she wouldn’t budge. Definitely has some serious trust issues.

Broke things off with her in the morning by accusing her of being an infidel and she started crying hysterically. Definitely made for the most awkward morning walk to the camel and cart station during my whole trip.

2. 7/10. 22 years old. ONS from ‘Beer-qa’

Hymen Status: Broken
Face covering: Hijab

This girl actually approached me on the dance floor, probably due to my blasphemous dance moves. This girl was a whore and even suggested pecking me after only 30mins of talking and touching. 1 hour after that it was tongue in mouth; sluts like this should be treated as such so I gave her an ass-grab. I didn’t even need to ask if her Hymen was broken.

3. 8/10. 23 years old. ONS from ‘Little Mecca’

Hymen Status: Intact
Face Covering: Niqab

This girl was definitely the most attractive in the club that night. Normally I wouldn’t have a chance, however I managed to befriend a Sheikh dance floor inspector that night. He convinced her that Allah had permitted unholy dancing between her and I for the evening. The couple of shoulder rubs that occurred on the floor must have made her wet as she was keen to leave with me; too bad this was completely useless as her Hymen remained unscathed.

4. 6/10. 26 years old. ONS from ‘Beer-qa’

Hymen Status: Intact (Broken now)
Face Covering: Hijab

Approached during her Qibla prayer, which was a pretty beta thing to do but she didn’t blow me out straight away. Told her I was currently looking for a wife to impregnate and she instantly warmed up to me. We went back to mine and she asked me to break her Hymen. I planned to pull out however she held me in. Blocked and deleted her from Ummaland once dropping her off at the camel and cart station in the morning; couldn’t deal with knowing if I impregnated her.

For a list of girls kissed, a full kissing report is available at:

sirspankybangsiraq.com/kissing-report/page01

The website also contains a full hand-holding and eye contact report.

Final Thoughts

Achieving a bang in Baghdad is relatively easy with correct style and dress (re: Keffiyeh). Come prepared with sandals and a beard if you’re really seeking to smash the competition. My bankroll was 2 000 000 Dinars a month + 2 cows. As for apartments, I was paying 400 000 Iraqi Dinars for a studio in the city centre, 5min walk to the public hanging square. Included a prayer mat and Quran (Useful for anti-infidel clubs). Be sure to check with the reception whether or not there will be a random demolition of the building during your stay there. These are definitely something you’ll need to plan around if possible.


Remains of a demolished building. The city’s property tycoons are so keen to update and modernise the look of the city that these are almost a daily occurrence.

I am curious to hear about other member’s Baghdad Bangs in the comments.

Enjoy your time in the next Poosy Paradise.