Background
I've never really done online dating before. I tried badoo for about 2 weeks when I was in Lima but was bored to tears with how slow and inefficient it was compared to cold approaching. I just arrived in Medellin and figured I'd give ColombianCupid a shot because I've seen others on this board speak highly of it. I've skimmed over the Colombia online dating threads on here and I got the impression you have to be on your toes for flakiness and getting played for your money. I need to go over them again to absorb everything.
Testing the Waters
I sent out the following message to about 20 girls (adapted from Roosh's template in Bang Colombia):
About half read the message and of those, 6 replied. One responded telling me about herself and asking about my travels, the rest sent short responses saying they wanted to talk on the phone or over MSN.
Setting up the D2
One of the "let's talk on the phone" girls sent her number, so I called her and did basic "how are you?" for a couple minutes (my phone Spanish is terrible) and then asked her if she wanted to meet for a drink the next day. She agreed, so I asked if she could meet at 9 and she said it was too late, so I offered 8 and she said it was too late. I worried she was trying to weasel a meal out of me, so I asked if she wanted to get dessert at 3 and she agreed, so I told her I'd call her in the morning with the address of the place.
I called her this morning and told her to meet me at Me Late, a chocolateria I'd gone to a few days ago that was pretty delicious. She asked if we could meet at the metro station instead and I said it's far away and she should just come to Me Late. She was really resistant to coming to Me Late (which I don't really understand) and I didn't want to walk all the way to the metro station because it's a 20 minute walk, whereas Me Late is 5 mins from my hostel. Finally I got her to agree to meet me in Parque Lleras, but she didn't know any landmarks or restaurants there so I just said I'd call when I got there.
The D2
I found her in Parque Lleras and she didn't look like her picture. She looked really young. She must have been 5' or shorter and had a really petite body. If I was to guess her age, I'd say like 14-15 and I was kind of worried about what was going on. I was wondering whether it was a young girl that lied about her age or if it was some sort of scam where I'd get extorted for dating a young girl. I also felt pretty creepy going on a date with what appeared to be a 15 year old girl (I'm 25), albeit an attractive one. I figured I'd just have dessert with her and I didn't have to start getting physical with her until I was satisfied she was actually a reasonable age.
I led her to the Me Late and she seemed nervous about going far from Parque Lleras and told me she didn't have a lot of time so it had to be someplace close. I brought her to the restaurant and I ordered us chocolate fondue with fruit, which she had a hard time with. Over the course of the date, she dropped fruit she was attempting to eat at least five times, twice on herself getting chocolate on her clothes and at one point she left the little fork in the pot for a minute then tried to lick off the chocolate and burned herself.
Despite this, at the restaurant I became satisfied she was old enough. When sitting, the height difference wasn't so substantial so she looked older. The way she spoke and moved seemed like a non-teenager except she seemed to keep obsessively playing with her hair. She said she was 20 and when I asked her about a ring she was wearing, she said it was her class ring for her bachelor's degree. Once I was satisfied she was older, I went forward with it as a normal date.
Her conversational skills were basically what Bang Colombia prepared me for. She spoke very little and when I asked her questions, she gave very simple answers and never told stories. I just did a lot of storytelling, which I'm fine doing in English, but is harder for me in Spanish. I definitely telegraphed nervousness throughout the D2 because when I don't get much reaction out of the other person, it makes me nervous. I tried to rein it in when I became conscious of it so I don't think it was a huge deal. She was kino'ing me and touching my legs and arms and she was almost constantly playing with her hair. The only bad sign I got was that occasionally she'd start looking around a lot while we were talking.
Bouncing
After about an hour, I figured it was time to bounce so I told her I had to look at more apartments and I paid and we bounced. She kept angling for extending the hangout like saying "es muy temprano. necesitas partir?" and asking where I had to go to meet with my realtor (despite her initial warning that she was short on time). I really wish I had my apartment already so I could bounce her there, but I'm still looking and sleeping in a hostel dorm, so I didn't really know what to do with her at this point, so I just said I had to go. I walked her towards the metro and said goodbye where I had to turn for my hostel. I positioned her in front of me and was looking in her eyes feeling her out for a kiss goodbye, but she went for a hug+cheek kiss.
Any constructive feedback is appreciated.
Things I'm currently confused about:
-Is there anything I need to watch out with in terms of ColombianCupid girls showing up seeming young?
-This girl seems to be atypical for ColombianCupid from what I've read because she wasn't flaky (showed up on time) and was playfully touching me a lot. Should I expect most other girls to behave differently?
-Is it normal that she didn't want to meet at the restaurant?
-What's with the girls on ColombianCupid who ask for my cell # or MSN without giving me theirs? I never hear from them.
I've never really done online dating before. I tried badoo for about 2 weeks when I was in Lima but was bored to tears with how slow and inefficient it was compared to cold approaching. I just arrived in Medellin and figured I'd give ColombianCupid a shot because I've seen others on this board speak highly of it. I've skimmed over the Colombia online dating threads on here and I got the impression you have to be on your toes for flakiness and getting played for your money. I need to go over them again to absorb everything.
Testing the Waters
I sent out the following message to about 20 girls (adapted from Roosh's template in Bang Colombia):
Quote:Quote:
Hola [name]! Me llamo Arobin. Soy de Nueva York. Acabo de llegar en tu ciudad y me gusta mucho. Estoy quedandome en El Poblado y buscando departamento. Hablo español bastante bien, pero necesito practicar más. Tal vez con una chica amable en Medellin. En los EE UU, tabajaba para [recognizable company] por 4 años despues de universidad, pero renuncié para viajar por Sudamerica y he conocido Peru, Ecuador, y Argentina y todos fueron mucho divertido!
Ví tu perfil y pareces interesante. [insert profile specific observations if the girl has anything notable in her profile] Te gusta tomar un café o traigo conmigo esta semana? Tengo celular.
Arobin
About half read the message and of those, 6 replied. One responded telling me about herself and asking about my travels, the rest sent short responses saying they wanted to talk on the phone or over MSN.
Setting up the D2
One of the "let's talk on the phone" girls sent her number, so I called her and did basic "how are you?" for a couple minutes (my phone Spanish is terrible) and then asked her if she wanted to meet for a drink the next day. She agreed, so I asked if she could meet at 9 and she said it was too late, so I offered 8 and she said it was too late. I worried she was trying to weasel a meal out of me, so I asked if she wanted to get dessert at 3 and she agreed, so I told her I'd call her in the morning with the address of the place.
I called her this morning and told her to meet me at Me Late, a chocolateria I'd gone to a few days ago that was pretty delicious. She asked if we could meet at the metro station instead and I said it's far away and she should just come to Me Late. She was really resistant to coming to Me Late (which I don't really understand) and I didn't want to walk all the way to the metro station because it's a 20 minute walk, whereas Me Late is 5 mins from my hostel. Finally I got her to agree to meet me in Parque Lleras, but she didn't know any landmarks or restaurants there so I just said I'd call when I got there.
The D2
I found her in Parque Lleras and she didn't look like her picture. She looked really young. She must have been 5' or shorter and had a really petite body. If I was to guess her age, I'd say like 14-15 and I was kind of worried about what was going on. I was wondering whether it was a young girl that lied about her age or if it was some sort of scam where I'd get extorted for dating a young girl. I also felt pretty creepy going on a date with what appeared to be a 15 year old girl (I'm 25), albeit an attractive one. I figured I'd just have dessert with her and I didn't have to start getting physical with her until I was satisfied she was actually a reasonable age.
I led her to the Me Late and she seemed nervous about going far from Parque Lleras and told me she didn't have a lot of time so it had to be someplace close. I brought her to the restaurant and I ordered us chocolate fondue with fruit, which she had a hard time with. Over the course of the date, she dropped fruit she was attempting to eat at least five times, twice on herself getting chocolate on her clothes and at one point she left the little fork in the pot for a minute then tried to lick off the chocolate and burned herself.
Despite this, at the restaurant I became satisfied she was old enough. When sitting, the height difference wasn't so substantial so she looked older. The way she spoke and moved seemed like a non-teenager except she seemed to keep obsessively playing with her hair. She said she was 20 and when I asked her about a ring she was wearing, she said it was her class ring for her bachelor's degree. Once I was satisfied she was older, I went forward with it as a normal date.
Her conversational skills were basically what Bang Colombia prepared me for. She spoke very little and when I asked her questions, she gave very simple answers and never told stories. I just did a lot of storytelling, which I'm fine doing in English, but is harder for me in Spanish. I definitely telegraphed nervousness throughout the D2 because when I don't get much reaction out of the other person, it makes me nervous. I tried to rein it in when I became conscious of it so I don't think it was a huge deal. She was kino'ing me and touching my legs and arms and she was almost constantly playing with her hair. The only bad sign I got was that occasionally she'd start looking around a lot while we were talking.
Bouncing
After about an hour, I figured it was time to bounce so I told her I had to look at more apartments and I paid and we bounced. She kept angling for extending the hangout like saying "es muy temprano. necesitas partir?" and asking where I had to go to meet with my realtor (despite her initial warning that she was short on time). I really wish I had my apartment already so I could bounce her there, but I'm still looking and sleeping in a hostel dorm, so I didn't really know what to do with her at this point, so I just said I had to go. I walked her towards the metro and said goodbye where I had to turn for my hostel. I positioned her in front of me and was looking in her eyes feeling her out for a kiss goodbye, but she went for a hug+cheek kiss.
Any constructive feedback is appreciated.
Things I'm currently confused about:
-Is there anything I need to watch out with in terms of ColombianCupid girls showing up seeming young?
-This girl seems to be atypical for ColombianCupid from what I've read because she wasn't flaky (showed up on time) and was playfully touching me a lot. Should I expect most other girls to behave differently?
-Is it normal that she didn't want to meet at the restaurant?
-What's with the girls on ColombianCupid who ask for my cell # or MSN without giving me theirs? I never hear from them.