[Kabal]

As if you didn't notice from my posts and other thread title, I am a proponent of the term "basic" as an insurgent term of 2014. It properly connotes so many traits of the modal Western college-educated working broad:

Boring.
Conformist.
Mundane.
Simple.
Predictable.
Unsophisticated.
Middling.
Garden-variety.
Trite.
Common.
Uniform.
Typical.

Chicks are basic anywhere in the world--but the difference is that--in the West, as per the PC zeitgeist, we're supposed to think (or, at least, pretend) that they're not. I don't even notice it when I'm abroad; however, in contrast, it's jarring in the States.

As for some of the highlights from the eponymous article (amusing all around):

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1. “I spend my money on $20 mac and cheese from a restaurant literally across the street from my apartment. Some days you just need what you need and that thing that you need is gourmet mac and cheese brought to your door from half a block away.” —Nik, 23

And all days, that's why you're poor.

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4. “First, I got into waxing for a while and maintaining that shit really adds up. I also have a 'fancy lady' complex where if I have an especially rough day, I buy myself really expensive cocktails. There’s a $16 drink at Fig. 19 with a rose petal floating on top that I buy every time I go through a breakup. I think it comes from some warped SATC-inspired view of adulthood (like I should be out drinking Cosmos with my girlfriends and saying things like 'I may be single, but I’m FABULOUS'). But really, I should probably save the $16.” —Kara, 25

Yes, really, probably.

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5. “Trendy clothes. Cab fare. Bar tabs. And ordering in rather than cooking. Also: drugs, besides pot, because pot encourages not going out. Pot is a good investment.” —Erin, 31

Marijuana is certainly a better investment than you, Erin, at 31.

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8. “When I moved to New York, I had this really fucking dumb Carrie Bradshaw ideal of how I should dress and act. I thought that it was normal to spend a bunch of money on trendy shoes, or that New Yorkers were expected to eat out every other meal. Long story short, I got into 4,000 dollars of credit-card debt my first year here. I’ve been here for three years now, and I’m still shaking off the dumb impulses that show gave me. My brain can’t accept that it will never own Manolos if I also want to own a home someday.” —Chrissy, 26

Literally... it can't. Ew.

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13. “Fucking brunch. Fucking brunch is the reason I will never own property.” —Allie, 23

Or maybe, Allie, you are the reason you will never own property.

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15. “I spend money on makeup, blowouts, and nail art, in huge part for the Instagram likes. It is probably the saddest thing about myself.” —Naomi, 27

Sadly, this is the closest any girl on this list gets to introspection.

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18. “Designer coffee. There is this really Brooklyn-y coffee shop across from my office, and going there every day feels like being inside a Pinterest board. I probably spend 12 dollars a day on coffee alone, partially because that dumb coffee shop is so fucking cute.” —Liz, 32

That "dumb" coffee shop is certainly smarter than you, Liz, at 32, in taking advantage of your naive preoccupation with social media and "cute[ness]."

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2. “I have this really bad habit of thinking that because I am a ‘professional woman,’ I need all of this stuff to make me really BE that woman. Like, I will justify the constant purchase of expensive haircuts, manicures, leather laptop cases, blazers, and conservative heels with ‘this is basically a business expense.’ Except that I cannot write those expenses off, and now I have like ten more ‘work purses’ than I would ever need.” —Sarah, 28

Oh shit, looks like you can't just write those expenses off because real life doesn't abide by double-hamster accounting.

Some fellow-bimbo comes to Sarah's defense in the comments:

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This is actually a real problem, not just dumb frivolous purchasing. As a professional woman, the expenses to look acceptable are HIGH. You have to have reasonably expensive blazers, suit pants, a nice adult looking briefcase, etc, if you're going to be taking meetings and be taken seriously. It's one of those things where being a woman is really annoying. You can't go into a business meeting, especially sales, without really good grooming and expect to come out of it with a good result.

Or maybe it's because, deep down--you know you have little to offer beyond your looks and presentation--so you better look as nice as possible, in an arms race against other "professional" sloots who know subconsciously that it's certainly not their intellect and/or business acumen keeping them employed.

And it's not like men's business outfits are cheap...

Conclusion:

Amusing how Sex in the City was invoked by girls in their twenties, lampshaded by one commenter:

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The most intriguing part of this was that a 25-year-old and a 26-year-old both cite Sex and the City as their Platonic ideal of NYC life. Get with the times, ladies. It's a great show but a) passé b) bearing little to no resemblance to reality. The lead actresses are in their 50s now.

These bimbos are in their mid-twenties to early-30s. Some of them are closer to menopause than they are to their teenage years, yet they're bumbling around like they're temporarily-downtrodden-princesses in a Disney movie with a happily-ever-after just around the corner.

Another data point in the notion that Schopenhauer was right; women really are eternally half-children.

No wonder these sloots try to sneak appetizers past you guys on dates.