[XXL]

(09-15-2013 05:54 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Any how, I guess the point of this post aside from the long anecdote, is how do you guys decide whether or not to stick with an approach, or to "pull shoot" as I like to say, and cut your losses and move on to other chicks?

The fact that I spent two hours hanging out with the blonde and she left early and wouldn't let me kiss her, kind of annoyed me. Who knows what would have happened or what will happen, but part of me can't help but think there may have been a more DTF chick I could have macked on and actually gotten laid that night, as opposed to having to text the blonde who will most likely flake.

first... get your screening on

then...

(09-15-2013 05:54 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Now, one of my biggest tests is whether a girl invests in conversation and asks me personal questions,

to me it's some signal but not really that big one. often times girls just carry on the conversation if it's interesting enough but there is no real urge on their part. they talk just to talk and waste our time. investment is something more than talking back and asking where you are from. IMO true investment is emotional and comes from the fear of loss. so there is some EMOTIONAL NEED on her part behind all that talking.

- statement not questions - using statement instead asking questions makes other people want to justify themselves because by telling something inaccurate [purposefully] about them they feel labelled and just NEED to explain what's up. for example, instead of asking where are you from? / what do you? tease them you're so tall and so blonde, tell me something in sweedish / from the way you act i can tell you must be one of those crazy PR people. guarantee girls will feel the need to correct you. but it won't be delivered in flat tone like in a normal conversation. it will be charged with emotion behind it.

- commanding & challenging tone of voice - the natural reaction to that is to be more apologetic. it's like someone in charge fucks with you and accuses you of something and you start explaining yourself which makes your voice high pitch and BL more seeking approval. example, "you don't even know my name! what's my name?"

- breaking eye contact and body language - by doing that you show that what she says is not interesting enough for you to pay attention so you're distracted and turn away a bit. it's done playfully. if she likes you then she will try to come up with something cool to say to get it back. then you reward her by listening to her and looking at her. so it's SHE who's stressed out trying to get your attention. see the investment? it's that fear of loss. not just the fact that she talks back saying whatever.

- playing with touch - by giving her just a bit but not enough makes it so special. it's playful spontaneous push/pull. you go in and break it. when you can cover it up with some bullshit excuse it's golden. read

- showing indifference - tell her "it's super fun you don't have to at all if you don't want to". or even tease her "no no stay you better stay here in this lame bar it's too cool there for you anyway" or "i'd like to dance but i don't really know about you, look, if you can't it's fine you can sit here and watch me". she's very likely to jump through your hoop.

notice it's not just about how to make her talk back. it's more than that. it's about how to make her feel compelled to stick to you and invest emotionally enough so that she doesn't want to fuck it up and feel rejected.

(09-15-2013 05:54 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I fucking hate when that happens and it's been happening to me a lot lately, I get deep into the conversation zone with a chick, all signs seem to point towards success, but when I try to step up escalation they either shut down or pull away.

again, i suppose it was just a really good conversation maybe even deep topics were touching but in the end she was focused on talking itself not on the guy who's talking. i'm just guessing.

(09-15-2013 05:54 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Is getting the make out a good litmus test? If a girl isn't down to kiss after you've spent an hour or two hanging out and flirting, is she probably not going to de down in general?

i personally don't like making out in public except for those SHORT little subtle kisses [that i always break]. i prefer playing with anticipation and sexual tension. when i see that sexy glance a girl does subconsciously that says "you're mine" that's all i need.