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Thedude cooks a steak
#1

Thedude cooks a steak

Alright, I was considering posting this in the "Culinary Game" thread but I figured, fuckit, this is something you make for yourself, not some ho. I know Gmanifesto threw down a data sheet on cooking a steak, but here's a professional's method. (Disclaimer: given a choice, I would cook a steak over hardwood in a weber. Not charcoal, but actual untreated firewood from a lumber yard. Given that I don't have one at home or at work, I pan roast)

Step 1: Preheat your pan. It should be heavy as shit. I recommend a Lodge cast-iron. Generously season your steak with salt and freshly cracked pepper. If you're a fancy fuck like me, use gray salt from Geurande and Tellicherry peppercorns in your pepper mill.

[Image: tumblr_mdb67ah54h1rkla7mo1_250.jpg]

Step 2: Add your cooking fat, and don't be stingy. You want a solid layer of oil on the bottom of the pan. I use rice bran oil, but coconut and peanut oil work well with high temperature cooking as well. Olive oil does not. Once the oil start to smoke lightly, get the bitch in.

[Image: tumblr_mdb67ah54h1rkla7mo3_250.jpg]

Step 3: Start flipping. Ignore that bullshit about "only flip once". Think about a rotisserie. You have a heat source and you want to expose all the surfaces of the meat as many times as possible to ensure even cooking. Moving the meat around will not "lose more juices" as conventional wives tales will tell you. I flip about once per minute. If your heat is high enough and you've got enough fat, you'll start to get good browning (also known as Maillard reactions)

[Image: tumblr_mdb67ah54h1rkla7mo4_250.jpg]

Step 4:
[Image: tumblr_mdb67ah54h1rkla7mo2_250.jpg]
That's right, butter. Rather than get in some limp-wristed argument about adding excess saturated fat to an already fatty cut of meat, I'm just going to state that basting with butter produces incomparable results and flavor due to the browning milk solids that cling to the meat. It's a rich, nutty flavor that I wouldn't want to go without. Cut saturated fat out of your diet elsewhere, but not here. Get a couple tablespoons of butter in the pan, a smashed clove of garlic, and a sprig of thyme (I didn't have any tonight but normally I would) Baste the steak with the browning butter. You'll notice it foaming up; this is normal and what you want. Total cooking time at this point is between 6-8 minutes.

[Image: tumblr_mdb67ah54h1rkla7mo5_250.jpg]

Step 5: Rest. I don't tent with foil or any of that other fanciness. If you're serving other side dishes and worried about timing, I'd simply leave the steak in a super low oven, just make sure it's around 100 degrees and no more. Usually when I make a steak I eat it by itself though. I feel the steak regularly and when I know it's the right temperature, that is, warm but not too hot, I know it's ready to eat or slice for presentation. Notice the deep color and crust. This is not to "seal in the juices" which is another antiquated notion, it's all for flavor baby, there's nothing better tasting than a dark, deep sear or grill on a steak.

[Image: tumblr_mdb67ah54h1rkla7mo6_250.jpg]

Step 6: eat, or slice and present. Here I've added a swirl of 25 year old balsamic. Shit ain't cheap, about $150 for a 100ml bottle, but I got the hookups yo. Don't bother with anything cheaper, don't bother with "balsamic reduction" whatever the fuck that is. If you don't have this stuff, just eat your steak plain or with some bearnaise or a good red wine sauce. If you can't make a 5-star sauce though, don't bother. If it's a good cut of meat you don't need sauce. I'm a fan of the aged balsamic with a few shavings of parmigiano reggiano and a few arugula leaves, but again not everyone has that kind of access. Everyone has different ideas of what medium rare is: in these photos I'm slightly on the rare side of medium-rare; a true medium rare shouldn't have quite so much red in the middle but for a well marbled steak this is exactly how i like it. I just got done eating it and let me tell you I barely had to chew the goddamn meat and the flavor was top-notch. This meat is from Creekstone Farms (not prime, but this stuff has great flavor). Oh yeah make sure to slice it with a badass old Sabatier like the one in the pic, shit makes you look like a kitchen pirate.

[Image: tumblr_mdb67ah54h1rkla7mo7_250.jpg]

Enjoy. Cooking and eating a steak, by itself, is one of a guy's greatest pleasures. Drink with the most expensive Bordeaux or Barolo you can afford. Skip the california reds, shit is way too fruity to pair with red meat.

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."

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