[Eddie Winslow]

I invented a fun late-night game a few years ago in college and I feel like its time I shared it with the world. It's called Feed the Fatties.

There is an extremely popular late night walk-in Chinese buffet place right next to the main strip of bars at UMD. They give you a white takeout tray and for about $9, let you pile as much fried meat, lo mein, and egg rolls as you can fit. Feel free to substitute this with any disgusting late night cuisine.

I get my tray and post up near the exit of the bar where everyone congregates. The best time is right as the bar closes. I stand there with with my fork in hand, and hold my tray of irresistible fried crap a litttttle further away from my body than is natural for eating. OK, maybe like a foot The trap is now set.

It is hilarious to watch the girls eye the food like its a treasure chest full of diamonds. Eventually, a bold, drunk, hungry fat chick will think I'm not paying attention or am giving out free samples, and will try to grab an eggroll (don't worry, you won't have to wait long). Then...

"WHOAWHOAWHOAWHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOINGDOYOUTHINKYOUCANJUSTSTEALMYFOODRIGHTOUTOFMYHANDSYOUFATBITCH!!!"

That one is a real crowd pleaser, but you can be very creative. And hey, sometimes they aren't fat - in that case, it's a very easy way to tease a girl and have her on the defensive IMMEDIATELY. I have never pulled while playing this game, but I'm sure it would work. Obviously, this probably shouldn't be your go to move .

With all of the creative assholes here, I'd love to hear some field reports. Give it a shot - it's FUN!