Quote: (01-03-2015 06:23 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
This thread seems to start with an assumption.
Do men pay in modern society? I assumed most of these events were a couples' thing (finance-wise), and since plenty of couples live together before getting married, I've even witnessed them joining efforts to save up for it. Unless there's an obvious salary gap in the relationship or the parents are doing well enough to foot the bill (your perception of it can be skewed by your class background).
Also, while on an intellectual standpoint men stand to gain a lot less, most guys I've seen get married are fairly stoked about the whole ceremony too, even if nervous, and throwing a good shebang is as much a pride thing as it is giving the missus her little princess dream.
The whole "this is all for her" act guys put on is contrived as the rest of it all. I was a best man at a wedding and we even took it as far as to be sneaking a beer behind the keg when they called him up and acted like he was hiding. Thinking back, he was obviously stoked or he wouldn't have been going through it - dude was fucking glowing when they exchanged vows. We made a fuss and clowned around, but it's all just part of the fun and games.
Not trying to justify the expense or the choice, but let's take it on fair terms.
According to this site the couples pays 30% of the time and the bride's parents 17%. The rest is a mix of different options.
The average cost is $20,000, but the ring counts towards that number.
My dad gave each of my sisters a $5,000 wedding gift ahead of the wedding to offset costs. I know between the groom's parents and other gifts none of my sisters actually lost spent money on the party/wedding.
Distinguishing between bride and groom wouldn't really matter though, once you're married your finances are tied. You could debate who wants a bigger party more, but that'd be tough to prove.
Most of the weddings I've been to recently have been smaller affairs. Parties in backyards or rented out bars. Personally I think it's insane to spend a lot of money celebrating a marriage if you already live together, what's the difference.