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The Wingman Commandments
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The Wingman Commandments

Set I

1. Grace: Never cockblock.

2. Dignity: Never white knight.

3. Respect: Never put down the wingman in front of girls. Mock the girls, especially if she accuses your boy of being 'creepy.' Girls thrive on social approval, and once denied it, they will crumble.

4. Loyalty: Always take your wing's side in an argument. Agreeing with a woman bolsters her ego and closes her vag, to you and your wingman. No one wins.

5. Allegiance: Do not give attention to every woman as if she's a movie star and to your wingman none, as if he were a dirty bum. You and your wingman may even snub the women occasionally, but not so much as to make them feel left out. Pair off and isolate when the opportunity arises, rather than awkwardly ignore each other.

Summary: Women revere men who respect themselves and their fellow men, at the expense of women. Infighting among men in the presence of women is petty, needy and ineffective. Taking her side is sycophantic and emasculating.

Set II

6. Courtesy: Always introduce your wingman.

7. Charity: Let your wing bang your platonic female friends. Leave them alone together when the opportunity arises. Don't get protective over your female friends, it's f***ing lame and disgusting.

8. Sportsmanship: He who opens, chooses. Unless the girls choose otherwise. If this isn't clear, have a tiebreaker, eg your short friend gets the short chicks.

9. Honesty: Any issues between you and your wing should be resolved by direct confrontation, away from the girls. Passive-aggressiveness is unmanly.

10. Restraint: Do not bother the wing if he is otherwise engaged.

Summary: Treat your wingman with courtesy and benevolence.
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