[Bushido]

(08-19-2014 12:59 PM)Old Fritz Wrote:  

One in particular we talked for a few hours. Infidelity of course was a topic and she told me she didn't care if I cheated as along as I kept it hidden from her. When she said this, i thought she was only saying it because she wanted to cheat to and she denied that saying she just didn't want to feel shameful about it. I probed more and she admitted to believing that all people cheat anyway and didn't believe I would not do it myself. There was more said but you get the idea. I was still skeptical anyway.

I've been told this on many occasions by Japanese girls. In my experience, this line tends to come from the more traditional Japanese girls (my favourite type). It has nothing to do with their cheating, although I had the same reaction as you initially. This attitude comes from an understanding of men's nature that we need to sleep around from time to time. This awareness used to be common in the West too. The key lies in not getting caught in the act and keeping up appearances.

If you marry a Japanese woman, the cultural expectation is that sex will greatly decline after the kids come along before stopping completely. She becomes the Mother and you the Father (this is literally how they address each other and first names are dropped). You are no longer viewed as lovers. This is a little depressing but it's a very common view in Japan, so be careful if you marry one or you'll be in for a shock!

The reason a Japanese girl gives you permission to cheat in advance is that she knows that the day will come when the marriage will become sexless. Often, it's a case of the guy looking for younger girls to bang rather than the wife not putting out, but I suppose it's probably a combination of the two. Instead of divorce, she prefers that you have a mistress or go to hookers. Of course, she will feel some jealousy inside but a good wife will keep this hidden.

So the point I'm making is this situation is understood by both parties in the marriage - it's just unspoken. Sure, there might be some lies told but that is done to save face and continue things the way they are. These are not "black" lies, but "white" ones for the most part.

That said, there are the more westernized Japanese girls who are jealous as fuck and will demand to know every detail of your life. They demand 50:50 and open and honest communication about everything. All the normal tact is dropped and they are possessive as they come. These girls are a huge pain in the ass. Give me an indirect, non-confrontational and traditional Japanese girl any day of the week.