Good to be back post 'prison-gate'. No harsh feelings toward Roosh or Tuth, who have both given so much positive change to so many guys. I needed a week off anyway as RVF has a bad way of affecting my productivity.
This post is gonna be all over the place. First off, let's talk about suits.
I'm embarrassed to admit that last night was the first night I've gamed suited down. Sure I've been out to dinners and special events suited down, but never to a bar to spit game. Over the years I've lost one suit and bought another ill-fitted suit that I recently gave away. And to be accurate, I still don't own a proper suit; I just recently bought a light summerweight blazer to go with some dark designer jeans. I've been reading http://www.masculine-style.com nonstop and heeding the advice. So what I have is a very upscale casual look. No sheen on the material, just a nice soft texture, the type of casual blazer I could wear 5 days a week.
I went out last night to meet a forum member. Friday night, downtown L.A., at Seven Grand. Anyone familiar with this scenario knows these are far from ideal hunting grounds. New dress shirt, blazer, dark jeans, vintage leather belt, leather boots. Fresh haircut. My game is rusty as shit. I have been lifting/exercising for the past 18 months and recently took up boxing which combined with hiking like mad, I've lost about 10 lbs in the past 6 weeks (after bulking up to 215 on Stronglifts). I'm a pretty lean 205, 6'3", getting an outline of a 6 pack but nowhere near the definition I'm looking for, however I think I've got a good V-taper developing and my posture is 1000x better than it ever has been. I'm saying all this as a background to what happened last night.
First off, when I parked and got out, the valet guy told me to just leave the car in front of the valet kiosk and take my keys with me. He had a huge grin on his face and said, "Just leave it in front boss!". I was parked smack dab in front of the venue, which is what valet guys usually do for Italian supercars and shit. Here I am with my '08 Altima being treated like a VIP. Dressing sharp definitely has perks beyond just girls.
Last night I got into the venue and it was 80% guys. "Oh great" I'm thinking, but whatever it was more about catching up with the forum member than anything. Before I can even find the guy, I'm outside on the patio and get a tap on my shoulder. A girl opened me and started asking me how tall I am blah blah blah. Some game comes back to me and I start teasing and giving vague responses. It hooks and she introduces me to her friends, one of which is hot with a beta orbiter. I find the forum member, he's with a damn hot girl and I tell my new friends I'll find them later.
I meet the hot girl's sister who is even hotter and surrounded by orbiters. Play it cool, tell her I thought about buying her a drink then decided against it (her expression was hilarious) and teased her for a bit. Over the night no less than 20 guys were showering her with attention. Few minutes later I get another tap on the shoulder. I get opened again by a couple girls. I'm thinking, "This is nuts. I'm in the middle of a sausagefest and I've been opened twice on a Friday night."
It happens again 15 minutes later. Terrible opener from some girl asking if I work at the bar and her stumbling to make conversation. She's a 6 at best and I cut her loose.
And then again 15 minutes later. This time a short, cute 20 year old USC student, 7, maybe 7.5. We're playing the 'guess my age' game and when I tell her to guess mine she leans in and whispers, "I think you're old enough to make out with me right now." Doesn't even make sense but I start chuckling and say, "Actually I'm a year older than that." and lean in and smash face. I give her a fake name and she volunteers her number to me. Gonna invite her over tomorrow or Monday, smash, and start pushing for threesome immediately.
If I had made any effort whatsoever I'm confident I could have gotten an SNL. The attention was insane. I would walk outside and there would be girls tapping on her friends shoulder to get her attention and pointing at me. I actually got a little shy at various points.
After last call I left with a couple numbers and a huge grin. Zero effort. This might actually be bad for my game, because hot girls don't approach so could I be happy with a buffet of 6s and 7s if it required zero effort?
The first point of all of this isn't to brag at all. I used to consider myself a decent dresser. I know now that I was wrong. I may have good designer clothes and good style, but in my mind there are only two ways to dress: Suited down, or not suited down. If you're not wearing a blazer, you're not living up to your potential. Granted this was just one night but the results were undeniable. The guys on the forum that go out suited down are probably reading this and thinking, "Yeah no shit dufus, that's what we've been saying all along."
This got me thinking about change. Every single change I've made over the last two years: lifting, boxing, languages, style, I can think to myself, "I should have started sooner"
I should have started lifting sooner
Should have started boxing sooner
Should have learned languages sooner
Should have gotten dress clothes sooner.
So why didn't I? Why was I so resistant to make positive change, and then once I DO it, I think, "I should have done this sooner."
Comfort. Identify that craving for comfort inside of you and destroy it. Limit yourself to comfort one day a week, like Sunday. Monday through Saturday, make yourself uncomfortable at the gym, in a language course, in a boxing ring, at the clothing store. This goes back to Roosh's post about Making Deposits vs. Making Withdrawals in the game of life. I spent a year doing approaches like mad and hit my limit pretty quickly. I got blown out a lot, and I'm not a bad looking guy. But the other factors weren't even remotely up to speed. Bad posture, skinnyfat, average style...
For the past year, and especially the past few months I've dropped out of the game and have been making very large deposits in the bank. Last night was just me testing the waters and the results were astounding.
For any guys just getting started, approaching is still the most important thing. Get 100 under your belt. 100 ain't shit. 100 gets you to the starting line. The real game is making these deposits. Invest in your physical body, your style, your posture.
Me, I'm going to keep going. Fuck approaches and going out 5 nights a week. I need to keep my lifts up and keep working on that heavy bag. I'm going to take this body to the limit and if 18 months have produced these results, I'm going another 18 and then another 18 after that. I want to come out on the other side a completely different person, a MAXIMIZED person.
Some guys are lucky and born with this shit, or are born into a trust fund, or born with superman genetics. Others have to work for it. I used to envy the former, but now I don't.
There's not a single thing that feels as good, or is as rewarding, as working for change and then seeing the results manifest themselves.
This post is gonna be all over the place. First off, let's talk about suits.
I'm embarrassed to admit that last night was the first night I've gamed suited down. Sure I've been out to dinners and special events suited down, but never to a bar to spit game. Over the years I've lost one suit and bought another ill-fitted suit that I recently gave away. And to be accurate, I still don't own a proper suit; I just recently bought a light summerweight blazer to go with some dark designer jeans. I've been reading http://www.masculine-style.com nonstop and heeding the advice. So what I have is a very upscale casual look. No sheen on the material, just a nice soft texture, the type of casual blazer I could wear 5 days a week.
I went out last night to meet a forum member. Friday night, downtown L.A., at Seven Grand. Anyone familiar with this scenario knows these are far from ideal hunting grounds. New dress shirt, blazer, dark jeans, vintage leather belt, leather boots. Fresh haircut. My game is rusty as shit. I have been lifting/exercising for the past 18 months and recently took up boxing which combined with hiking like mad, I've lost about 10 lbs in the past 6 weeks (after bulking up to 215 on Stronglifts). I'm a pretty lean 205, 6'3", getting an outline of a 6 pack but nowhere near the definition I'm looking for, however I think I've got a good V-taper developing and my posture is 1000x better than it ever has been. I'm saying all this as a background to what happened last night.
First off, when I parked and got out, the valet guy told me to just leave the car in front of the valet kiosk and take my keys with me. He had a huge grin on his face and said, "Just leave it in front boss!". I was parked smack dab in front of the venue, which is what valet guys usually do for Italian supercars and shit. Here I am with my '08 Altima being treated like a VIP. Dressing sharp definitely has perks beyond just girls.
Last night I got into the venue and it was 80% guys. "Oh great" I'm thinking, but whatever it was more about catching up with the forum member than anything. Before I can even find the guy, I'm outside on the patio and get a tap on my shoulder. A girl opened me and started asking me how tall I am blah blah blah. Some game comes back to me and I start teasing and giving vague responses. It hooks and she introduces me to her friends, one of which is hot with a beta orbiter. I find the forum member, he's with a damn hot girl and I tell my new friends I'll find them later.
I meet the hot girl's sister who is even hotter and surrounded by orbiters. Play it cool, tell her I thought about buying her a drink then decided against it (her expression was hilarious) and teased her for a bit. Over the night no less than 20 guys were showering her with attention. Few minutes later I get another tap on the shoulder. I get opened again by a couple girls. I'm thinking, "This is nuts. I'm in the middle of a sausagefest and I've been opened twice on a Friday night."
It happens again 15 minutes later. Terrible opener from some girl asking if I work at the bar and her stumbling to make conversation. She's a 6 at best and I cut her loose.
And then again 15 minutes later. This time a short, cute 20 year old USC student, 7, maybe 7.5. We're playing the 'guess my age' game and when I tell her to guess mine she leans in and whispers, "I think you're old enough to make out with me right now." Doesn't even make sense but I start chuckling and say, "Actually I'm a year older than that." and lean in and smash face. I give her a fake name and she volunteers her number to me. Gonna invite her over tomorrow or Monday, smash, and start pushing for threesome immediately.
If I had made any effort whatsoever I'm confident I could have gotten an SNL. The attention was insane. I would walk outside and there would be girls tapping on her friends shoulder to get her attention and pointing at me. I actually got a little shy at various points.
After last call I left with a couple numbers and a huge grin. Zero effort. This might actually be bad for my game, because hot girls don't approach so could I be happy with a buffet of 6s and 7s if it required zero effort?
The first point of all of this isn't to brag at all. I used to consider myself a decent dresser. I know now that I was wrong. I may have good designer clothes and good style, but in my mind there are only two ways to dress: Suited down, or not suited down. If you're not wearing a blazer, you're not living up to your potential. Granted this was just one night but the results were undeniable. The guys on the forum that go out suited down are probably reading this and thinking, "Yeah no shit dufus, that's what we've been saying all along."
This got me thinking about change. Every single change I've made over the last two years: lifting, boxing, languages, style, I can think to myself, "I should have started sooner"
I should have started lifting sooner
Should have started boxing sooner
Should have learned languages sooner
Should have gotten dress clothes sooner.
So why didn't I? Why was I so resistant to make positive change, and then once I DO it, I think, "I should have done this sooner."
Comfort. Identify that craving for comfort inside of you and destroy it. Limit yourself to comfort one day a week, like Sunday. Monday through Saturday, make yourself uncomfortable at the gym, in a language course, in a boxing ring, at the clothing store. This goes back to Roosh's post about Making Deposits vs. Making Withdrawals in the game of life. I spent a year doing approaches like mad and hit my limit pretty quickly. I got blown out a lot, and I'm not a bad looking guy. But the other factors weren't even remotely up to speed. Bad posture, skinnyfat, average style...
For the past year, and especially the past few months I've dropped out of the game and have been making very large deposits in the bank. Last night was just me testing the waters and the results were astounding.
For any guys just getting started, approaching is still the most important thing. Get 100 under your belt. 100 ain't shit. 100 gets you to the starting line. The real game is making these deposits. Invest in your physical body, your style, your posture.
Me, I'm going to keep going. Fuck approaches and going out 5 nights a week. I need to keep my lifts up and keep working on that heavy bag. I'm going to take this body to the limit and if 18 months have produced these results, I'm going another 18 and then another 18 after that. I want to come out on the other side a completely different person, a MAXIMIZED person.
Some guys are lucky and born with this shit, or are born into a trust fund, or born with superman genetics. Others have to work for it. I used to envy the former, but now I don't.
There's not a single thing that feels as good, or is as rewarding, as working for change and then seeing the results manifest themselves.