Quote: (01-03-2014 05:40 AM)aphelion Wrote:
This seems like completely opposite to the actual way the story turns out. From what I gather, the guy actually went out and started hanging out with his friends again, started getting his own life, and eventually started to feel like a contributory party to a mutually beneficial marriage again. Furthermore, I think the way that the article was written was handled with respect and love to the author's husband. She took no joy in his misery, and made a tough but necessary decision to stay the course and keep the family together when women are all too quick to pull the big D card and run over the guy roughshod.
Come on. Credit where credit is due. I get that a lot of guys here have some resentment toward women, but resenting good women is not the answer.
Yea, it's like we aren't reading the same article. By my read he went out with his friends for a little while, then capitulated to her. These were two distinct stages, and the hanging out with people other than her circle of friends was part of his 'temper tantrum' as she put it, not part of some sort of growth ending in his. 'Temper tantrum', yea, real respectful. I read no introspection, no speculation about what might have been wrong, what might have driven him to leave her. Instead she heard that he wanted to leave, and she pursued the ideal strategy to wear him down while simultaneously getting to play the victim/martyr to the friends, and most importantly, while doing no introspection and changing nothing that might have been bothering him.
Do you really think it was respectful to publish her 'how I tamed a man' story for his failure and humiliation to be told to the entire readership of the NYT? I reiterate: why did he want to leave? Knowing that he is risking his financial future, his access to children and possibly his liberty, do you really think he was just doing an Eat Pray Love? To me there is no comparison to a woman leaving her husband because there is such an enormous difference in the risk that each or them are taking. Despite all of the feminist tropes, a man won't leave a wife for trivial reasons because of the magnitude of the consequences that simply aren't there for a woman. Woman wants to leave her husband: she keeps the kids, the house, and half of his money for the rest of her life. A man looses all of that. Think about it before you buy her story hook like and sinker. Again: why did he want to leave? You may not have noticed before, but women do a terrific job of playing the martyr.
We wouldn't be reading this story if she was a 'good one' because he wouldn't have been so desperately unhappy as to risk so much just to be able to go out a bit and see friends. If he felt love and respect none of it would have happened, guaranteed. I give her credit, but I can read between the lines. She's good at what she does and now her control is complete. I guarantee you there is no sex, no love and no respect in this marriage.