I know that houston made a thread about the trouble he was having with his Father a while back. I was just reading it, since I'm having mostly the same issues with my dad, and I was pretty shocked at the amount of people on here who have had pretty bad or absolutely no relationship with their father whatsoever.
Anyways, my dad has always been an alcoholic and over the past five years he's been struggling hard. He's practically homeless and basically everyone in his life, besides me has abandoned and cut off contact with him.
The trouble is, I'm almost at that point now. Whenever we speak on the phone, it's him ranting and talking about all of his problems for about twenty minutes, I don't even say a word the entire time. Usually, he tells me that I'm fucking up and that I don't know what I'm doing. In reality, I'm not at all, I've got plans, and I don't usually waste time like I used to. He thinks that I still sleep in until two in the afternoon, thinks that I do drugs, thinks that I'm partying all the time, thinks that I'm clueless , all of these things. I've tried to tell him that I'm actually the opposite, and that I do want to do well for myself and be successful but absolutely nothing sinks in. He cannot listen to me, even when he allows me to speak he cuts me off and tells me I'm wrong.
Well I'm at the point now that I can't do it anymore. It's affecting my self confidence and mental attitude. I don't want to turn my back on him but I've been trying to be there for him for the past six years and he doesn't even acknowledge that I've helped him plenty of times, he denies it and tells me that I don't do shit for him. He's extremely manipulative and guilt trips me almost every conversation, and if I tell him that I don't want to hear it he tells ME that I'm being manipulative. It's insanity. I'm 22 and I need to have my focus. He throws monkey wrenches at me whenever I call him or pick up when he's calling.
The only good time we've ever had is when he's sober, I've told him this, wrote him a letter before and he just takes it as an attack and pretty much tells me I'm acting like a brainwashed pussy that listens to my mother too much.
I've given him plenty of patience and understanding but nothing is changing, and he's blaming me for it. So I'm wondering if anyone knows of a good way to handle it. Has anyone had any similar experiences? I've tried to cut off communications with him but I usually get worried and give him a call and it's right back to the same old bullshit. Any ideas? Thanks.
Pinch
Anyways, my dad has always been an alcoholic and over the past five years he's been struggling hard. He's practically homeless and basically everyone in his life, besides me has abandoned and cut off contact with him.
The trouble is, I'm almost at that point now. Whenever we speak on the phone, it's him ranting and talking about all of his problems for about twenty minutes, I don't even say a word the entire time. Usually, he tells me that I'm fucking up and that I don't know what I'm doing. In reality, I'm not at all, I've got plans, and I don't usually waste time like I used to. He thinks that I still sleep in until two in the afternoon, thinks that I do drugs, thinks that I'm partying all the time, thinks that I'm clueless , all of these things. I've tried to tell him that I'm actually the opposite, and that I do want to do well for myself and be successful but absolutely nothing sinks in. He cannot listen to me, even when he allows me to speak he cuts me off and tells me I'm wrong.
Well I'm at the point now that I can't do it anymore. It's affecting my self confidence and mental attitude. I don't want to turn my back on him but I've been trying to be there for him for the past six years and he doesn't even acknowledge that I've helped him plenty of times, he denies it and tells me that I don't do shit for him. He's extremely manipulative and guilt trips me almost every conversation, and if I tell him that I don't want to hear it he tells ME that I'm being manipulative. It's insanity. I'm 22 and I need to have my focus. He throws monkey wrenches at me whenever I call him or pick up when he's calling.
The only good time we've ever had is when he's sober, I've told him this, wrote him a letter before and he just takes it as an attack and pretty much tells me I'm acting like a brainwashed pussy that listens to my mother too much.
I've given him plenty of patience and understanding but nothing is changing, and he's blaming me for it. So I'm wondering if anyone knows of a good way to handle it. Has anyone had any similar experiences? I've tried to cut off communications with him but I usually get worried and give him a call and it's right back to the same old bullshit. Any ideas? Thanks.
Pinch