Quote: (05-13-2013 12:37 PM)augen sehen Wrote:
My achilles heel is conversation - what kind of topics do you guys bring up? This is kind of a weak spot of mine. I'd like some help with emotionally stimulating conversation topics.
Get her talking about opinions, what she likes and dislikes.
"Do you like wearing a lot of jewelry or just a couple of small things? I can see you're not wearing any rings, but you have that neck chain..."
Every topic you hit, you can talk about your own opinion. This is where you seamlessly DHV.
"Yeah, I got this neck chain when I was in ... because my style is mostly ..."
Tell her what you actually think, actually feel and why. Don't just agree with anything she says in some vain attempt to enhance the "connection". Sometimes she'll tell you something and you'll respond "I'm the opposite...". That's OK.
"What do you think about that guy's facial hair? Gay? Or sexy?". There are a million things to talk about, you'll never run out of ideas. Keep it light.
Sometimes you can repeat back in your own words what she said. "Oh, so you like ... but you don't think much of ...?".
To use the example of you drinking G&T and her having Gluhwein. You can ask her if she would always get that, or did she just feel like a change today. You can ask if she feels some kind of nostalgia for winter things like Xmas when she drinks it. You can ask if it was summer right now and we were sitting under a shade umbrella on the patio, what would she drink? Then you could ask if she also drinks beer. Then has she tried those cherry beers they make in Belgium? etc etc.
All this time you are talking about your experiences and telling stories from your life as you go.
Since you're concentrating on her a lot, she will probably feel like she's qualifying to you since she's explaining what she likes and why she does things. You are not trying to be the entertainment and impress her. All you have to do is listen, talk about yourself and occasionally tease her about stuff, sometimes agree.
Since it's Couchsurfing, you can also go with
- Can you show me (the best clubs in town for hip hop music /or whatever)?
- I would like to take you to check out (this great party my friends put on once per year /or whatever, must be something that will be new and fun for her).
Today's heartiste is on topic:
Quote:Quote:
Reading this study, you may be inclined to conclude that women just like to talk about themselves a lot, and love it when men leverage that female vanity to progress the courtship toward sex. Yes! A lot of romantic “connection” that women feel is so magical and fateful is just the man coolly sitting back and letting the woman yap a little, while he nods occasionally or touches her forearm for synchronicity.
Man: *silent*
Woman: “He understood me so well!”