[Veloce]

(01-12-2013 05:23 PM)TheRookie Wrote:  

Also this: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashio...#permid=24

Quote:

Twenty-something male here. I've been single for the past year and between parties, OkCupid, and bars, probably got numbers from about 30 different girls.

It was WAY easier to get a girl to actually show up to an informal "hang out" or "tag along" to an event than to commit to a date. I probably had 10-15 instances of girls flaking out of previously agreed-upon "dates" via text at the last possible minute.

Personally I'm fine with the lack of ambiguity of a "date". I like knowing that we're both there for the explicit purpose of seeing if there's anything promising between us. Most guys my age I talk to are fine with it. But most guys I talk to have also repeatedly been flaked out on and stopped setting up dates for that reason.

I think there's a sense that girls feel a lot of pressure to immediately make a decision about how she feels about a guy on a "date". What if he tries to kiss her? What if he invites her back to his place? She doesn't have a graceful way out. She might have to reject him. She can't let attraction build organically. It's a lot of pressure. And, inevitably, if she's presented with a "low-pressure" alternative of something to do at the time of the "high-pressure" date, she'll often take the escape valve of a quick text message to get out of it. After all, she can always reschedule. And if he resents it? Well, there are plenty of other great guys out there. Et cetera.

This street runs both ways.

A full year of bars, OKC, and parties, and he only got 30 numbers?