In my humble opinion you're fine overall. I can't tell you what's best solution I can tell you what works for me.
I personally always draw boundaries very clearly and express them very strongly. These boundaries differ depending on the status of our relationship.
For instance, at the beginning of the interaction I'm chill and carefree. She's random person, we have no connection so it's like whatever.
Later on when it's clearly on I might say things like.. "you mine from now on / i like your friends but tell them to back off I don't want to see some bullshit like them rescuing you from from me, I'm the best guy in this time zone / [her shittesting me] wtf you think this is some kind of joke? i want to get to know you for real, how old are you? you're too immature for me, go back to your faggot boys standing in line to date you / uncross your arms". So that's just the expressions of my boundaries when we meet to pass shittests and set the frame that I'm for real.
When we date boundaries change. I don't need to emphasize that I'm for real (although she still might get cranky from time to time to see if I can deal with her) but I need to draw other boundaries appropriate to the situation preferably in the same bossy manner. Those boundaries typically revolve around jealousy, her behavior, expectations, sex, etc.
So in your case..
Basically If I date girl I really like I do everything I can to destroy that common weak sauce half ass shit guy-playing-aloof-to-court-a-girl frame. I fully impose myself and express my boundaries really harshly and own it in a tyrant/dictator manner to overwhelm her and to present myself in a outstanding way [she only knows what she sees] which usually makes all other orbiter guys and potential suitors look like total pussies/losers/faggots with no spine and character next to me [it deals with them even beforehand cause guys usually try exactly that mr smooth seducer game or nice pretty boy shit]. I don't even try to convince her to be with me. I just constantly frame all those guys and ex's as full on gay nice guys like > THAT < plus I tell her to get off and go date them.
I personally always draw boundaries very clearly and express them very strongly. These boundaries differ depending on the status of our relationship.
For instance, at the beginning of the interaction I'm chill and carefree. She's random person, we have no connection so it's like whatever.
Later on when it's clearly on I might say things like.. "you mine from now on / i like your friends but tell them to back off I don't want to see some bullshit like them rescuing you from from me, I'm the best guy in this time zone / [her shittesting me] wtf you think this is some kind of joke? i want to get to know you for real, how old are you? you're too immature for me, go back to your faggot boys standing in line to date you / uncross your arms". So that's just the expressions of my boundaries when we meet to pass shittests and set the frame that I'm for real.
When we date boundaries change. I don't need to emphasize that I'm for real (although she still might get cranky from time to time to see if I can deal with her) but I need to draw other boundaries appropriate to the situation preferably in the same bossy manner. Those boundaries typically revolve around jealousy, her behavior, expectations, sex, etc.
So in your case..
Quote:Quote:I'd say "why the fuck you even telling me this shit? It has nothing to do with me and you in this moment. I know you probably have tons of faggots leering at you trying to meet you and get you, I'm not stupid, I've dated beautiful girls before I get it ok? So you either leave and go give them some pity fuck or shut up and enjoy your time with me".
One time she was shit-testing regarding a guy she had dated with, who wouldn't let go of her (he approached her at the club where we met for the 1st time in a very desperate manner - i just turned around and talked to other girls). At that moment I told her that "this kind of subject is to be had with your girlfriends" and abruptly changed the subject.
Quote:Quote:I'd say "not angry it was just lame to talk about that with me, you're adult you should know that".
She got insecure and later asked whether I was angry and said she was sorry for bringing it up and how cool i had been when he approached her. I said "dont sweat it".
Quote:Quote:I'd say "Model? cool I'd fuck him. Are you done?"
On the way back she mentioned her Ex again, followed by a classic shit test about him becoming a model long ago and changing personality by starting to judge her on the basis of her looks. She said she despised his personality change and him thinking he was the king of the world. I replied in an aloof manner ab not all models being shallow and that my ex also was a model (she was), but then changed the subject. In hindsight, a bit beta supplicating.
Quote:Quote:I'd structure some conversation with her where I could tell her since we're dating I'd like to let her know that there is no such thing like a second chance to me so if she likes to date guys behind my back then she can go and never come back.
This morning, while she was showering, I checked her phone (by mistake firstly, because our are the same and were both by the bedside), and saw that she had been texting with her ex a couple of days ago. I recall that they set up some coffee date about the same days we had our 1s date.
In her ex-bf convo which reeked of beta texting, she wrote about "sometimes i feel like a little child" and him writing back that he missed her . What made me upset, was that she somehow agreed to meet him on this Friday, when Im gone. It was in the style of "Maybe we can aim for Friday" Just a couple of days ago she brought up the weekend herself, saying she would be seeing a girlfriend on Friday, before leaving to her parents on sat.
Basically If I date girl I really like I do everything I can to destroy that common weak sauce half ass shit guy-playing-aloof-to-court-a-girl frame. I fully impose myself and express my boundaries really harshly and own it in a tyrant/dictator manner to overwhelm her and to present myself in a outstanding way [she only knows what she sees] which usually makes all other orbiter guys and potential suitors look like total pussies/losers/faggots with no spine and character next to me [it deals with them even beforehand cause guys usually try exactly that mr smooth seducer game or nice pretty boy shit]. I don't even try to convince her to be with me. I just constantly frame all those guys and ex's as full on gay nice guys like > THAT < plus I tell her to get off and go date them.