[Samseau]

You need to bang the girl on the first date in order to get her to like you.

For that reason, Date Lab's are almost always going to be failures - way too many girls are self-conscious about being on Date Lab and will avoid appearing slutty in front of the media.


That said, the comments in this article are hilarious. It appears the woman was already seeing another dude when she went out on the date. What a whore, playing the field with lots of different men. Women truly hold all the power in the DC Dating scene.

Jessica never really had any intention of being romantic with this guy, she was already getting her holes filled.

Some of the best comments.

Jealous women:

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Dear Jessica,

What were you thinking Girl?!! This guy just seems to be exactly what you were looking for!
Interesting, fun to be around, very attractive, polite, good conversationalist, jewish! You liked him, he liked you.. So... ??? What's wrong with you?!!
A second date is to get to know each other, find out if there is a potential, confirm or infirm a first good impression... What's the big deal?

Big mistake Girl...
Miss O.

Matt: call me

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Oh. Well I feel so empty. What a great match. Except for that last little part where you realize that there wasn't a chance from the start. That's not supposed to happen. It certainly wasn't fair to waste this great guy's time and some other young woman's chance to meet this great guy. I'm pretty sure there are a. lot. of young women who would be more than happy to spend the evening with him.

It just sucks the fun right out of the whole thing.

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Wow. I felt sucker punched.

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Ah, I see, looking down in the comments, that she went on Date Lab even though she was seeing someone by the time she got the call. That's a no-no in my book.

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Jessica, you're acting like a 19-year-old, not a woman ten years older than that. I understand the comment about his good looks – you can swept away with those and not lift the rock to see the creepy-crawlies skittering from the light. But this guy seems like a mensch. You had good conversation. On similar wavelengths. To refuse to go out on a second date – what were you smoking? The only reason I can think of for refusing (it’s a date, another get-together, fun . . . you’re not jointly pricing Maytags) is if you heard through the temple grapevine that there’s something off with Matt. I’m betting no, you heard no such thing.

Disillusioned men:

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So the other guy must be more Jewish, more cute-r and more polite-r, right? Since there was no 2nd date? And this time next year she'll probably still be complaining about being single.

Meanwhile I'd love to be Matt's Facebook message inbox right now, he's probably getting more hits than a T-Ball stand

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From everything I read and hear, women have a hard time finding good men in DC.

I'm starting to think it's the other way around.

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Jessica, if you Google me you'll find that I was the head of the police force in Northern Ireland who was behind much of the brutality that caused hunger strikes in jail and later head of the police force in London who invented the Suss Laws that provoked the race riots in Brixton that inspired some of the Clash's best songs. Also that I am the foremost expert on the birds of South Africa, a sound engineer in Los Angeles and a fireman in Kentucky. However, none of that is true.

Please double check your Googling and consider that maybe that damning information you turned up about Matt when you got home from that great date was not really about him, but maybe some other guy with the same name.

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Jessica, you've some growing up to do before you settle down with anyone. If you feel like you "need a man," that means you don't feel ready to stand on your own two feet, and if you aren't self-reliant, you'll probably have trouble in your dating relationships.

Maybe you're just truly old-fashioned, and would do best to find a man who is the same way, but I'm thinking it'd behoove you to think about how you come across to other people. You seemed immature and inconsiderate here, and those traits are unlikely to encourage a man with good manners to see you as someone with whom he'd like to spend the rest of his life.

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First off, I want to offer an alternate explanation to Jessica's "I need a man" comment. I don't think she was saying she "needed a man" (as some posters seem to believe) as much as she was inartfully saying that she needed the guy she dates to "be a man", as in act all macho & chivalrous-like. I won't get into how that might be antithetical to other beliefs she may hold as an independent female attorney, but, hey, she's allowed to be an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in matzo.

That having been said, after reading her input, boy, does she come off as unlikeable. Well, I guess she's kinda lucky that Matt didn't say that he found fiveheads a major turn-off, but, of course, even if he did, he'd have been too much of a gentleman to mention it....

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No, I understood what she meant. She needed a "man," she got a "man," and still rejected him.

And then of course, the responses to the "friend" of Jessica who Speakeasy posted above:

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A) She should not have gone on the date.

B) We are going off what was in the article, so of course it comes off as judgmental. It's good of you to defend your friend but we don't have all the facts and give you our opinions based on that.

C) I don't consider going on Date Lab being an act of courage.

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And also, if you're composing something that may be printed in the paper, perhaps you should put more thought into what it would convey? Especially as an attorney, wouldn't you take more care?

If so much time had passed and she felt so unsure about it, then she should have declined.

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She's a lawyer -- I just find it hard to believe that she forgot about her application, was so nervous, blah blah blah. The lack of sleep arguments sounds weak, sorry.

Bottom line, and not just for Jessica: We can understand starting up with someone after the date and before the article appears, but NOT her going on Date Lab AFTER starting up with someone. That is not fair to either guy. Not at all. If the Date Lab guy knocks her socks off, first guy gets the boot; or in this case, Date Lab guy gets rejected. She should not have gone on the date.

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All she had to say when they contacted her was that she was seeing someone and there would have been no date. It was as easy as that, and you know that. It's too bad people are judgmental but that's what happens when you put your personal life in a national newspaper. Admirable of you to try to defend your friend but she is too smart to have been bamboozled into this as you say she was.

Whether or not the commenters here have the wherewithal to be featured in Date Lab has nothing to do with what happened with this date. As I said, admirable, but a weak smokescreen.

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At which point of the date was she trying "honestly and accurately" to sell herself?

I must have missed that part.

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Lack of sleep? Sounds like she filled out the DL application after a fun evening out. Sleepy people don't make the mistake of hitting enter on something this important. Tipsy people do.

I do have to agree with everyone else - BIG foul if it has been two and half years since she filled it out and is now dating someone. The moment WaPo gets you on the phone - busy, tired, tipsy - YOU SAY NO.

She is so busy trying to keep WaPo happy the men are getting lost in the shuffle.

And from a user named Roosh4:

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Jessica is a horrible person.