This thread was inspired after talking to some of the post grads at a university where I am at. I am sure a lot of guys in the forum at some point or another have considered going for higher qualifications as part of their career plan or out of interest/opportunities that might have presented itself.
How can these guys do it right? A graduate degree is going to take a minimum of a year at least or more in the case of the US and other places. I have seen too many grad school guys trying to chat up undergrads at on-campus events getting shutdown. Appear in enough of these events and these guys quickly make a name of themselves and not in a good way. The same pattern repeats at nightlife venues. Even cool post grad girls who are up for fun are struggling to date at times. The issues of this particular demographic of guys who otherwise would be in the working world are as follows:
1. The 'too old' vibe - Guys complaining about how there is a hard divide between undergrads and postgrads, seems to happen a lot in the US it seems.
2. Demographics of post grad population is overwhelmingly FOB - Low value for guys hanging out from that group. The remaining guys seem extremely unaware of game.
3. On campus residences segregate between undergrad and postgrad -> Establishing social circles with undergrads just became a lot harder
4. How to connect with the working professionals, being in school? Apart from the gym, any other societies that might help? Most of these seem to be filled with ladies in their 40s looking for conversation.
5. Normally, there are fewer classes for postgrads and more research work meaning lesser opportunities to form networks through class and more time spent working in solitude possibly resulting in a decline in social skills overtime.
The hardest challenge for guys seem to be the choice between creating social circles between the working professionals who are less accessible and undergrad students who are more accessible but more closed off as well and this is coupled with undergrad guys doing white knighting/orbiting. Dating prospects and even finding a cool dude to hang around at the postgrad level seem abysmal given the lack of quality among the girls and the apparent little prior experience in relationships among the guys. Also, the paranoia about harassment on campus does not help so excessive daygaming esp. at a small campus is a risk.
So, for all the guys who have successfully integrated into the city while studying postgrad, what have worked for you? What are the things that have not? We all know hitting the nightspots is an option but if you are staying longer term, its not sustainable without a social circle.
For now, let us stick to the anglosphere and areas where English would be more than enough.
To start things off, things that I have seen successful for guys in this situation:
1. Size of city matters A LOT - Smaller cities means tighter cliques both on campus and off. In this case even staying near in the city wont do much good. Unless the reputation of your course makes it worth the trade off.
2. If you are moving interstate or across countries, start off your stay by actively hanging with people who are not from your home state/country. A lot of guys fall into the trap of looking for people who are of similar culture/nationalities who might also be hesitant reaching out to people. The first month is crucial for forming friendships with like minded guys that would pay dividends for the rest of your stay.
3. Being in a relationship with a girl shortly after you arrive in a city is a huge DHV in any social circle he/she might be in. Girls tend to be keen on having relationship though it might be short, if they are new to a city too, especially at the beginning of a semester so it might not matter as much if you are postgrad and she is undergrad. But you got to hit the ground running from your first day.
Will be great to hear your experiences.
How can these guys do it right? A graduate degree is going to take a minimum of a year at least or more in the case of the US and other places. I have seen too many grad school guys trying to chat up undergrads at on-campus events getting shutdown. Appear in enough of these events and these guys quickly make a name of themselves and not in a good way. The same pattern repeats at nightlife venues. Even cool post grad girls who are up for fun are struggling to date at times. The issues of this particular demographic of guys who otherwise would be in the working world are as follows:
1. The 'too old' vibe - Guys complaining about how there is a hard divide between undergrads and postgrads, seems to happen a lot in the US it seems.
2. Demographics of post grad population is overwhelmingly FOB - Low value for guys hanging out from that group. The remaining guys seem extremely unaware of game.
3. On campus residences segregate between undergrad and postgrad -> Establishing social circles with undergrads just became a lot harder
4. How to connect with the working professionals, being in school? Apart from the gym, any other societies that might help? Most of these seem to be filled with ladies in their 40s looking for conversation.
5. Normally, there are fewer classes for postgrads and more research work meaning lesser opportunities to form networks through class and more time spent working in solitude possibly resulting in a decline in social skills overtime.
The hardest challenge for guys seem to be the choice between creating social circles between the working professionals who are less accessible and undergrad students who are more accessible but more closed off as well and this is coupled with undergrad guys doing white knighting/orbiting. Dating prospects and even finding a cool dude to hang around at the postgrad level seem abysmal given the lack of quality among the girls and the apparent little prior experience in relationships among the guys. Also, the paranoia about harassment on campus does not help so excessive daygaming esp. at a small campus is a risk.
So, for all the guys who have successfully integrated into the city while studying postgrad, what have worked for you? What are the things that have not? We all know hitting the nightspots is an option but if you are staying longer term, its not sustainable without a social circle.
For now, let us stick to the anglosphere and areas where English would be more than enough.
To start things off, things that I have seen successful for guys in this situation:
1. Size of city matters A LOT - Smaller cities means tighter cliques both on campus and off. In this case even staying near in the city wont do much good. Unless the reputation of your course makes it worth the trade off.
2. If you are moving interstate or across countries, start off your stay by actively hanging with people who are not from your home state/country. A lot of guys fall into the trap of looking for people who are of similar culture/nationalities who might also be hesitant reaching out to people. The first month is crucial for forming friendships with like minded guys that would pay dividends for the rest of your stay.
3. Being in a relationship with a girl shortly after you arrive in a city is a huge DHV in any social circle he/she might be in. Girls tend to be keen on having relationship though it might be short, if they are new to a city too, especially at the beginning of a semester so it might not matter as much if you are postgrad and she is undergrad. But you got to hit the ground running from your first day.
Will be great to hear your experiences.