One of my closest male friends is getting married in a year (to a girl!) They seem fine together and have been together a few years. She’s attractive, comes from a good family, is generally a good person, etc. and I don’t have any specific reservations about her.
On the other hand, he’s still in his 20’s and is just starting to pull in high 6/low 7 figures. Given that he will be earning the bulk of his wealth just as they get married and I really don’t want to see him get completely divorce ass-raped 10 years down the road, as statistically is likely to happen, I feel I have to say something.
I've been moving around a lot and haven’t really talked to him previously about it. If this was your friend that you hadn’t seen in a while, how would you broach the following topics?
- Make sure he’s doing this for the right reasons. He’s been engaged before in his early twenties, to a girl who fit the same description above, and the engagement (fortunately!) ended very badly. It seems he really wants to quickly conform to society’s expectation of him. Why do this so soon?
- Get a rock-solid prenup! He needs to nail down the details of the divorce while they’re still in love, otherwise he will, with near certainty, get financially fucked. Understand that in Anglo countries family courts are extremely prejudiced against men. Like every person who’s about to get married, I’m sure he believes divorce will never happen to him, especially since his and her parents are all still together. The statistics tell otherwise.
From my experience, these can be rather sensitive topics and unless approached correctly the person, no matter how open minded on other topics, can immediately get defensive and shut down all rational processing. I want to get him to think about this stuff without being a dick or hurting our friendship.
(A bit about my friend: I’d describe him as a higher beta, very intelligent, and extremely successful, career-wise and financially, within his field. In our group of friends he first discovered “The Game,” so knows a bit about the issues covered on this board and elsewhere, but has not fully taken the red pill.)
On the other hand, he’s still in his 20’s and is just starting to pull in high 6/low 7 figures. Given that he will be earning the bulk of his wealth just as they get married and I really don’t want to see him get completely divorce ass-raped 10 years down the road, as statistically is likely to happen, I feel I have to say something.
I've been moving around a lot and haven’t really talked to him previously about it. If this was your friend that you hadn’t seen in a while, how would you broach the following topics?
- Make sure he’s doing this for the right reasons. He’s been engaged before in his early twenties, to a girl who fit the same description above, and the engagement (fortunately!) ended very badly. It seems he really wants to quickly conform to society’s expectation of him. Why do this so soon?
- Get a rock-solid prenup! He needs to nail down the details of the divorce while they’re still in love, otherwise he will, with near certainty, get financially fucked. Understand that in Anglo countries family courts are extremely prejudiced against men. Like every person who’s about to get married, I’m sure he believes divorce will never happen to him, especially since his and her parents are all still together. The statistics tell otherwise.
From my experience, these can be rather sensitive topics and unless approached correctly the person, no matter how open minded on other topics, can immediately get defensive and shut down all rational processing. I want to get him to think about this stuff without being a dick or hurting our friendship.
(A bit about my friend: I’d describe him as a higher beta, very intelligent, and extremely successful, career-wise and financially, within his field. In our group of friends he first discovered “The Game,” so knows a bit about the issues covered on this board and elsewhere, but has not fully taken the red pill.)
I can't have sex with your personality, and I can't put my penis in your college degree, and I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams, so why are you sharing all this information with me?